1.Mean what you say/ say what you mean.From day one! When you tell your 18 mo to "come" ,don't laugh when he runs the other way.MEAN what you say.Be consistent.Don't expect *anything* to work if you aren't consistent.Keep your children with you and include them in the things that you do.There is no better "school" than that.Nip negative behaviour in the bud the first time it comes up instead of letting a bad habit develop.Speak kindly and don't speak more than once.SMILE and savor every moment with your precious children!
2.Don't treat them like children. Treat them like little adults. They have egos too and deserve the same respect and consideration that you would give anyone. Act the way you want them to act. Tolerate nothing in yourself that you wouldn't tolerate in them. Require obedience. If they can't obey you, they won't learn to obey God either. Expect them to make mistakes. Never belittle them.
3.Keep YOUR heart right with God. Pray daily for your children. Don't parent by the seat of your pants. Have a plan in place. Work toward lifetime goals as well as immediate. Pick your battles, and make sure the ones you pick, you win. Seek the counsel of Scriptures as well as those who have gone on before you. Acknowledge each child's differences (strengths and weaknesses) and train them accordingly. At least daily, hug 'em and tell 'em ya love 'em. Get a hold of their hearts, not just their actions.
4.Make sure that you are not so consumed by the little things that you forget to enjoy them. Often when you enjoy your children, the little things vanish away. Be consistant, but don't be surprised if they always will surprise you and stay on your toes at all time!
5.Refuse to parent by guilt.
Train 'em until you like 'em.
Begin as you mean to end.
Just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to say it.
6.Love them more than yourself.
And.....If you don't want the 85 pound dog up on the couch, you can't let the 5 pound puppy up there!' Seems to apply to kids too .
7. Set boundaries that stick so there is not question of what is right and wrong.Don't be lazy and ignore behaviours, or look over it b/c you are busy.Be consistant....realize they are people with feeling, not someone you just get to boss around. Love them and nurture them.After obedience is obtained, work on matters of the heart..... helping them grow closer to the Lord.Show them in the word why you have the rules you do, (this is a biggy with us) we dont just want to demand things of them, we want them to know it is what God demands of them.
Take time to talk to them, read to them kiss them, you may have to walk over the toys but they are so precious and we don't have enought time to put them off until later.
8. Don't expect your children to act exactly like "Sally down the road's" children unless you yourself are willing to act like "Sally down the road"
9. Love their daddy.
Let your children hear you pray for them.
Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no.(Matthew 5:37)
10. Show a united front with their Daddy in front of them.
11. If you can't nip it at the knee, you won't catch it at the elbow!
12. Treat your children the way you wish to be treated, and become a better person yourself. I also think it is important to think long term. The days of discipline seem long and arduous, but if you can look ahead and stick with it, the rewards will be so great. You will be glad you trained your two year old to obey and be nice when that two year old is a teenager. I enjoy my teens enormously, especially my teen who was a very difficult two year old!
13. Never do anything for them that they can do for themselves.
Never let them get away with anything.
14. Never, never, never, NEVER, give up.
15. Be consistent, be gentle, keep your relationship with them a priority after their relationship with the Lord. Treat them as you would want to be treated, and have FUN with them! Sure they can snap up their own pajamas-- but remember how loved and cherished you felt when your mom snapped up your pajamas or buttoned up your coat when you just needed to have a little TLC? Treat them as dear friends who are about to leave soon....because they are!
Children are truly a gift from the Lord!
16. We love HIM because He first loved us. Establish love *first*.
Love fosters trust. We need our children to trust that we are disciplining and training them for *their* best interest: translated Gods glory.
So love first and then obedience, based on love (Gods glory) not convenience for ourselves.
There are not 2 Bibles, one for children/youth and 1 for adults, that must mean God wants our children to obey the same commands/precepts we do. The Bible is not just for adults to live by it is for our children too.
There is only 1 command specifically and exclusively for children in the New Testament....Honor your Mother and Father.
Joy, we must joy and delight in our children. God told Jesus *this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased*. We need to convey the same delight in our children.
We have to make our homes, and lifestyles more appealing than the world. We do that by cultivating love, joy and peace in our homes.
Be willing to admit that 95% of EVERY problem we have with our children is a direct result of a deficit somewhere in our parenting.
Repent to God and children when we fail.
So simple but so huge. SMILE!
17. Pray daily for the grace to let them go...Meaning pray for strength to train them for the Lords service. (maybe thats more for momma training)
Take the time to listen before you assume.
Teach your children how to respect you, by respecting them
Hard work will keep them humble and grateful
Foolish boys will be foolish men.
Lazy girls will be lazy women.
Make them do work over and over until it is done right and perfectly! I NEVER allow things to be half way done.
Give your children the opportunity to give..it does amazing things for their heart!
Keep them close by you..it will keep you both doing what you should be.
WOW! What a list! :) Thanks, Angie! :)
ReplyDeleteThank you for that list!!
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