from starting your day right?
I want to add here that I am NOT saying that every christian MUST start their day with reading scripture/prayer.Just that it helps me ALOT and that I think it is a REALLY good idea :). I don't judge anyone who decided that it works best for them in the afternoon or evening etc. Promise :).
Now,child training........
Can you sit your children down (2yo and up at least),tell them to stay and expect that they will happily listen?If not,I encourage you to spend some time training the children.I have seen so many mothers SO stressed because they can't get their children to sit still and be quiet for any amount of time.
They can't read their Bibles or pray because the children might trash the house out.
They can't have any alone time with their husbands at night because the children won't stay in bed.
It does NOT have to be this way!If you can't tell your children "Time for bed!" and fully expect that they will go to bed and stay in their beds,you have a problem.:)Do not accept it as normal child behaviour because it is not.
I am not going to talk about child training methods here.I will say the following.
1.Mean what you say and say what you mean.
2.Make sure that you surround them with love,praise and smiles.
Training your children will make such a difference in your life! Happier Mammas/Daddies and children!
Are you still greeting your husband with joy? Still keeping your words sweet when he comes in after work?
I got my prayer/scripture reading in today but it was divided and I didn't read as much scripture as I wanted! I will get this habit down pat!
Showing posts with label Child training. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Child training. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Monday, November 28, 2011
Beautiful girls
These are my beautiful girls.Actually,one of them is my little SISTER.:) My sister is on the left and she is 16.My oldest daughter is on the right (11) and youngest daughter in the middle.My sister is actually taller than my daughter by a couple of inches but thats it! :) They are great friends!! :)
It makes me feel REALLY nervous ALOT of the time that I have the power to be such an influence and example to these girls.It is a scary and wonderful thought.I am always influencing........a.l.l the time.Even when I don't want to! Those are the scary times! The way they view marriage,mothering,children..........Even things like pregnancy,childbirth,herbs and breastfeeding........Then there are things like attitudes,thankfulness and joy.I SO want to be a godly example to them.
My sister has been staying with me for a long visit.When I think of the times that I have been impatient or frustrated with the children.....When I get overwhelmed with how much I have to do.......I cringe that I am not being example to her.She is at such an important time in her life.
I HATE that my daughters don't see a mother who never gets irritated,is always encouraging,never gets short with them and is always thankful and content.I want to ONLY influence them in a godly direction.
I HATE that I can't be the perfect mother!
On the other hand.....I KNOW that the Lord knew I would be imperfect when he gave me these children.My own parents were imperfect but guess what? Looking back,I see what there heart was.I KNOW that they wanted me to have the best.They wanted me to be godly.They tried to make the best decisions they could for what they knew.It doesn't even PHASE me when I think about the fact that my Mom could lose her temper pretty quickly or that she didn't have tea parties with me every weekend.I couldn't love her more! She did her best and so did my Dad.I can see how HARD it can be to be PARENT.I am 33 and my siblings are 27,18 and 16.Every single one of us love Mom and Dad SO much.YES! Inspite of their faults......I have been critical of how my Mom and Dad raised my younger siblings.(They were 12,2 and 5mo when I married) Guess what? The other day I was going to paint my girls fingernails for the first time.I asked my sister if she wanted hers painted and she said "no". I found out a few days later that she wanted to call her Mom and Dad and ask if it was ok first.Can you believe that? A 16 year old girl that wouldn't even paint her nails at her SISTERS house......600 miles away from her Mom and Dad......
When she talks to them on the phone she grins from ear to ear.She loves them SO much! Just like I do.....Like ALL of my siblings do.
I am starting to not beat myself up so much.Don't get me wrong,I will not EVER quite trying to be my best for the Lord and my husband and children.It is my sincere desire to be the best influence for the Lord that I can be.......
BUT:
I am pretty sure that because we are not hypocrites,we have an excellent marriage,we are dedicated to being the best parents we can be to our children,they love us and love to be with us more than anyone else,they hear us pray to the Lord to help us be all we should be for them and to forgive us when we fail,we are a HAPPY family that strives to live for the Lord.
I bet someday that with all the love they are receiving from us that they will be able to forgive our faults!
That is such a WONDERFUL feeling!!
Thank you Lord for forgiving children!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
10 reasons to train your children well........
1.God says to so obviously that is #1!
2.To give them every advantage *possible* in this life we live.
3.To be a good example of christianity.Children who are uncontrolable are not attractive.Children who are well behaved make people ask you how you do it which then gives you an opening to tell them HOW.(The Lord)
4.It makes your life a WHOLE lot easier when your children happily do what they are told.
5.It is much SAFER for your children.It is very dangerous to have children who don't listen.
6.Well trained children are *much* happier than children "left to themselves".
7.Well trained children are a blessing to society instead of the burden that selfish,lazy,rebellious children are.
8.Well trained children are a JOY for everybody to be around.
9.It is a blessing to your husband to train his children well.What a burden to a husband to have a wife who won't train his children well since she is usually the one with them all day.
10.Last but not least...........For your marriage!! When you can put your children in bed and they will stay without whining,complaining or getting up again you can have date nights with your husband at HOME like I did last night :):).I hear so many mothers say that they can't have any time alone with their husbands because the children won't go to bed.........It doesn't have to be that way! :) We do have one little date companion with us though now days lol.See him? He definitely is NOT an interuption though:).
2.To give them every advantage *possible* in this life we live.
3.To be a good example of christianity.Children who are uncontrolable are not attractive.Children who are well behaved make people ask you how you do it which then gives you an opening to tell them HOW.(The Lord)
4.It makes your life a WHOLE lot easier when your children happily do what they are told.
5.It is much SAFER for your children.It is very dangerous to have children who don't listen.
6.Well trained children are *much* happier than children "left to themselves".
7.Well trained children are a blessing to society instead of the burden that selfish,lazy,rebellious children are.
8.Well trained children are a JOY for everybody to be around.
9.It is a blessing to your husband to train his children well.What a burden to a husband to have a wife who won't train his children well since she is usually the one with them all day.
10.Last but not least...........For your marriage!! When you can put your children in bed and they will stay without whining,complaining or getting up again you can have date nights with your husband at HOME like I did last night :):).I hear so many mothers say that they can't have any time alone with their husbands because the children won't go to bed.........It doesn't have to be that way! :) We do have one little date companion with us though now days lol.See him? He definitely is NOT an interuption though:).
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Well done thou good and faithful servant.....
The other day my husband pulled me aside and said to me "Have I ever told you how GOOD you are with our children?" I told him that he had, but he continued to tell me *just* how good of a job I was doing training our children and how much he appreciated it.
I am sure you all can understand how that made my day.I mean,it MADE MY DAY! REALLY! My husband is pleased with me.He thinks I am doing a good job mothering his children.He is HAPPY with me! He says that I do a good job training the children!
It made all of the sacrifice and hard work seem like NOTHING.It just didn't matter.My husband was happy with me and thought I was doing a good job.Since there is nothing (next to pleasing the Lord) that I strive to do more in this life than please my husband,those words were precious to me.
This morning it hit me that it was sort of similiar to the words that I hope to hear someday from the LORD.
"Well done, thou good and faithful servant......" (Matt 25:21,23)
I have always felt that those are the ultimate words of all time.To hear those words someday is my entire reason that I do everything that I do.NOTHING else matters, or is important in the end.I think of all the trials I may go through in this life and they seem like NOTHING.Not when I think of the reward in the end.I don't even mean the reward of heaven.Just to have pleased the Lord with my life.For him to be pleased with me and think that I did a good job! "Well done...."
When I imagine hearing those words in the end it makes my sometimes overwhelming job as a wife and mother seem EASY.It makes me want to do my job 100% .Give it my ALL.I don't care how hard it is!
I want to be pleasing to him.Nothing else matters!
Now that is motivation.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Being the mothers we should be!
1.Mean what you say/ say what you mean.From day one! When you tell your 18 mo to "come" ,don't laugh when he runs the other way.MEAN what you say.Be consistent.Don't expect *anything* to work if you aren't consistent.Keep your children with you and include them in the things that you do.There is no better "school" than that.Nip negative behaviour in the bud the first time it comes up instead of letting a bad habit develop.Speak kindly and don't speak more than once.SMILE and savor every moment with your precious children!
2.Don't treat them like children. Treat them like little adults. They have egos too and deserve the same respect and consideration that you would give anyone. Act the way you want them to act. Tolerate nothing in yourself that you wouldn't tolerate in them. Require obedience. If they can't obey you, they won't learn to obey God either. Expect them to make mistakes. Never belittle them.
3.Keep YOUR heart right with God. Pray daily for your children. Don't parent by the seat of your pants. Have a plan in place. Work toward lifetime goals as well as immediate. Pick your battles, and make sure the ones you pick, you win. Seek the counsel of Scriptures as well as those who have gone on before you. Acknowledge each child's differences (strengths and weaknesses) and train them accordingly. At least daily, hug 'em and tell 'em ya love 'em. Get a hold of their hearts, not just their actions.
4.Make sure that you are not so consumed by the little things that you forget to enjoy them. Often when you enjoy your children, the little things vanish away. Be consistant, but don't be surprised if they always will surprise you and stay on your toes at all time!
5.Refuse to parent by guilt.
Train 'em until you like 'em.
Begin as you mean to end.
Just because you think it, doesn't mean you have to say it.
6.Love them more than yourself.
And.....If you don't want the 85 pound dog up on the couch, you can't let the 5 pound puppy up there!' Seems to apply to kids too .
7. Set boundaries that stick so there is not question of what is right and wrong.Don't be lazy and ignore behaviours, or look over it b/c you are busy.Be consistant....realize they are people with feeling, not someone you just get to boss around. Love them and nurture them.After obedience is obtained, work on matters of the heart..... helping them grow closer to the Lord.Show them in the word why you have the rules you do, (this is a biggy with us) we dont just want to demand things of them, we want them to know it is what God demands of them.
Take time to talk to them, read to them kiss them, you may have to walk over the toys but they are so precious and we don't have enought time to put them off until later.
8. Don't expect your children to act exactly like "Sally down the road's" children unless you yourself are willing to act like "Sally down the road"
9. Love their daddy.
Let your children hear you pray for them.
Make your yes mean yes and your no mean no.(Matthew 5:37)
10. Show a united front with their Daddy in front of them.
11. If you can't nip it at the knee, you won't catch it at the elbow!
12. Treat your children the way you wish to be treated, and become a better person yourself. I also think it is important to think long term. The days of discipline seem long and arduous, but if you can look ahead and stick with it, the rewards will be so great. You will be glad you trained your two year old to obey and be nice when that two year old is a teenager. I enjoy my teens enormously, especially my teen who was a very difficult two year old!
13. Never do anything for them that they can do for themselves.
Never let them get away with anything.
14. Never, never, never, NEVER, give up.
15. Be consistent, be gentle, keep your relationship with them a priority after their relationship with the Lord. Treat them as you would want to be treated, and have FUN with them! Sure they can snap up their own pajamas-- but remember how loved and cherished you felt when your mom snapped up your pajamas or buttoned up your coat when you just needed to have a little TLC? Treat them as dear friends who are about to leave soon....because they are!
Children are truly a gift from the Lord!
16. We love HIM because He first loved us. Establish love *first*.
Love fosters trust. We need our children to trust that we are disciplining and training them for *their* best interest: translated Gods glory.
So love first and then obedience, based on love (Gods glory) not convenience for ourselves.
There are not 2 Bibles, one for children/youth and 1 for adults, that must mean God wants our children to obey the same commands/precepts we do. The Bible is not just for adults to live by it is for our children too.
There is only 1 command specifically and exclusively for children in the New Testament....Honor your Mother and Father.
Joy, we must joy and delight in our children. God told Jesus *this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased*. We need to convey the same delight in our children.
We have to make our homes, and lifestyles more appealing than the world. We do that by cultivating love, joy and peace in our homes.
Be willing to admit that 95% of EVERY problem we have with our children is a direct result of a deficit somewhere in our parenting.
Repent to God and children when we fail.
So simple but so huge. SMILE!
17. Pray daily for the grace to let them go...Meaning pray for strength to train them for the Lords service. (maybe thats more for momma training)
Take the time to listen before you assume.
Teach your children how to respect you, by respecting them
Hard work will keep them humble and grateful
Foolish boys will be foolish men.
Lazy girls will be lazy women.
Make them do work over and over until it is done right and perfectly! I NEVER allow things to be half way done.
Give your children the opportunity to give..it does amazing things for their heart!
Keep them close by you..it will keep you both doing what you should be.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Giving children to many choices.....
can be a very bad thing.
I have always been careful not to give my children to many choices.I never could explain "why" very well, but now I finally realize why it bothers me so much.
It is good way to make a child unthankful and picky.
It is such a very important thing to start YOUNG.I very rarely let my toddlers choose what they are going to wear,what bowl they will eat out of,which fork they will use,which kind of cereal they want.....Yes,once in a while I do, but it is rare.They need to learn to just be thankful for what is given them.A 2yo,if given a choice of which bowl he wants to eat out, of will VERY QUICKLY start demanding to eat out of that bowl.I see it all the time.....Mom gives little guy some lunch and he says "I don't want that bowl." She smiles and says "Oh you don't want that bowl? Which one do you want?" and then she happily gets the bowl that he wants,smiling all the while at his personality.Children are catered to.They must have clothes with certain textures/colors,their hot dog cut in a certain way and their shoes tied just right.TODDLERS! What a disaster and as they get older they just get worse and worse.
Yes, it is extremely cute to see our precious babies starting to develop likes and dislikes.If I know that my toddler likes a certain bowl I will try to give it to him now and then.....I try to pick the clothes for him that I know he likes and I LOVE to buy my children surprises at the store that I know they love! It isn't that I think we should never give our children what we know that they love or that they shouldn't have likes/dislikes.Having a preference is FINE......I don't make my children eat things that I know they truly and consistently don't like.They are thankful children and so I am ok with that.If they had an unthankful spirit,the rules would be totally different.
I,(Angie) have lots of preferences.....likes and dislikes.If my husband calls me and asks me what I want from Burger King I will have a preference.If he just decides to stop and get me something from Burger King without calling ,I need to be thankful for whatever he gets!There are many things in life that we will have choices in and I am so thankful for that! There are also many things in life that we will NOT have a choice in.A person who has learned to be content with whatever he has ,will be a happy no matter what the circumstance.An unthankful person is never happy.I want to raise daughters that will be happy and thankful with whatever their husbands provide.I want to raise sons who will sit down at a meal their wife has prepared and be thankful for it instead of complaining about all the little things that are not perfect.
You should be able to choose your 3yo's clothes for the day,serve him breakfast in whatever bowl you decide and order his food at McDonalds without him complaining.He should be saying "Thank you Mamma!" for all of those things rather than "I wanted McNuggets not a Big Mac!".
I am such a believer in this that I had to share it with all of my friends who I know have the same heart that I do.We want to raise up godly children.It is what we want more than anything else in this world!
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness;and be content with such things as ye have:for he hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee.
I would love for anyone with any hints on training up THANKFUL children to leave a comment and share them with me!
I have always been careful not to give my children to many choices.I never could explain "why" very well, but now I finally realize why it bothers me so much.
It is good way to make a child unthankful and picky.
It is such a very important thing to start YOUNG.I very rarely let my toddlers choose what they are going to wear,what bowl they will eat out of,which fork they will use,which kind of cereal they want.....Yes,once in a while I do, but it is rare.They need to learn to just be thankful for what is given them.A 2yo,if given a choice of which bowl he wants to eat out, of will VERY QUICKLY start demanding to eat out of that bowl.I see it all the time.....Mom gives little guy some lunch and he says "I don't want that bowl." She smiles and says "Oh you don't want that bowl? Which one do you want?" and then she happily gets the bowl that he wants,smiling all the while at his personality.Children are catered to.They must have clothes with certain textures/colors,their hot dog cut in a certain way and their shoes tied just right.TODDLERS! What a disaster and as they get older they just get worse and worse.
Yes, it is extremely cute to see our precious babies starting to develop likes and dislikes.If I know that my toddler likes a certain bowl I will try to give it to him now and then.....I try to pick the clothes for him that I know he likes and I LOVE to buy my children surprises at the store that I know they love! It isn't that I think we should never give our children what we know that they love or that they shouldn't have likes/dislikes.Having a preference is FINE......I don't make my children eat things that I know they truly and consistently don't like.They are thankful children and so I am ok with that.If they had an unthankful spirit,the rules would be totally different.
I,(Angie) have lots of preferences.....likes and dislikes.If my husband calls me and asks me what I want from Burger King I will have a preference.If he just decides to stop and get me something from Burger King without calling ,I need to be thankful for whatever he gets!There are many things in life that we will have choices in and I am so thankful for that! There are also many things in life that we will NOT have a choice in.A person who has learned to be content with whatever he has ,will be a happy no matter what the circumstance.An unthankful person is never happy.I want to raise daughters that will be happy and thankful with whatever their husbands provide.I want to raise sons who will sit down at a meal their wife has prepared and be thankful for it instead of complaining about all the little things that are not perfect.
You should be able to choose your 3yo's clothes for the day,serve him breakfast in whatever bowl you decide and order his food at McDonalds without him complaining.He should be saying "Thank you Mamma!" for all of those things rather than "I wanted McNuggets not a Big Mac!".
I am such a believer in this that I had to share it with all of my friends who I know have the same heart that I do.We want to raise up godly children.It is what we want more than anything else in this world!
Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness;and be content with such things as ye have:for he hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee.
I would love for anyone with any hints on training up THANKFUL children to leave a comment and share them with me!
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Victory!
Today was sewing day.Grandma comes down and us girls (my dd's,Grandma and I) sit down and crochet/knit/cross stitch and have a nice peaceful time.
lol
The way it usually goes is that Grandma and girls crochet while I *attempt* to crochet and at the same time, nurse a baby,tell little boys that if they are going to sit with me that they have to be still,tell boys to quit flipping around the living room,tell boys that I don't want to hear gun shot imitations right now,tell boys to quit wrestling,tell boys to sit in one spot and stay there,tell boys to be SILENT AND FOLD YOUR HANDS!
lol JK.....but is sure is tempting sometimes! :) Actually I do occasionally tell them to be silent and fold their hands when they really need to calm down but it doesn't go like described above lol.
So today Mamma is smart and has boys sitting on a blanket to STAY there with Tuesday's activity pack.They had toy educational computers,new books,a few special toys and PLAYDOUGH. (what was I thinking?).So,apparently I should have them sit on a dishtowel instead of a blanket because they can do quite a bit of running/wrestling/tag playing etc. on a blanket and they did a real good job at getting playdough everywhere....Like pea size pieces and smaller.:)
So I am attempting to work on a quilt square while all of this is going on and my irritation and frustration starts building up....You know ,that attitude that equals saying ..."Can't I ever have any peace and quiet for one moment?" I am not actually THINKING those words, but it's that ugly attitude. I feel the sigh start coming on....You know "Poor me,I have all of these noisy,hyper,loud,energetic,LOUD boys that keep interupting me."
Then out of the blue ,(Thank you Lord), it hit me that there is no reason to get irritated.This can be taken care of without acting like this.So we got everything cleaned up and I got the boys reading books and eventually my 3yo fell asleep and all went well.
It didn't hit me till tonight while sitting in the living room having coffee with my dh that:
"Hey,the outcome was the same."
I told him that the outcome was the same.We got through the ordeal without bad attitudes from Mamma and the outcome was the same! No one suffered.My bad attitude would have benefited NOTHING.My dh corrected me though and told me that no,the outcome was totally different.Meaning,so much BETTER.SO much was accomplished by keeping a good attitude and not getting angry.
Everyone gained and Mamma didn't have to go througha guilt trip for being irritated with her precious children.
Wow! Thank you Lord!
lol
The way it usually goes is that Grandma and girls crochet while I *attempt* to crochet and at the same time, nurse a baby,tell little boys that if they are going to sit with me that they have to be still,tell boys to quit flipping around the living room,tell boys that I don't want to hear gun shot imitations right now,tell boys to quit wrestling,tell boys to sit in one spot and stay there,tell boys to be SILENT AND FOLD YOUR HANDS!
lol JK.....but is sure is tempting sometimes! :) Actually I do occasionally tell them to be silent and fold their hands when they really need to calm down but it doesn't go like described above lol.
So today Mamma is smart and has boys sitting on a blanket to STAY there with Tuesday's activity pack.They had toy educational computers,new books,a few special toys and PLAYDOUGH. (what was I thinking?).So,apparently I should have them sit on a dishtowel instead of a blanket because they can do quite a bit of running/wrestling/tag playing etc. on a blanket and they did a real good job at getting playdough everywhere....Like pea size pieces and smaller.:)
So I am attempting to work on a quilt square while all of this is going on and my irritation and frustration starts building up....You know ,that attitude that equals saying ..."Can't I ever have any peace and quiet for one moment?" I am not actually THINKING those words, but it's that ugly attitude. I feel the sigh start coming on....You know "Poor me,I have all of these noisy,hyper,loud,energetic,LOUD boys that keep interupting me."
Then out of the blue ,(Thank you Lord), it hit me that there is no reason to get irritated.This can be taken care of without acting like this.So we got everything cleaned up and I got the boys reading books and eventually my 3yo fell asleep and all went well.
It didn't hit me till tonight while sitting in the living room having coffee with my dh that:
"Hey,the outcome was the same."
I told him that the outcome was the same.We got through the ordeal without bad attitudes from Mamma and the outcome was the same! No one suffered.My bad attitude would have benefited NOTHING.My dh corrected me though and told me that no,the outcome was totally different.Meaning,so much BETTER.SO much was accomplished by keeping a good attitude and not getting angry.
Everyone gained and Mamma didn't have to go througha guilt trip for being irritated with her precious children.
Wow! Thank you Lord!
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Do you make others feel like a burden?
Philippians 2:3-5
"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things,but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you,which was also in Christ Jesus:"
I think these verses are HUGE for Christians and just society period.This *is* Christianity, and even though only Christians *really* understand the depth of it, think how society would be if *everyone* considered themselves first.That *is* what is happening in the world but thankfully,at this point,there are still many,many,many loving,caring,good hearted NON christians.They are getting fewer and fewer though.Especially in the younger generations!
The attitude taught in the above verses is one that my dh and I are really,really,passionate about instilling into our children.Think of all the areas it applies to.If you are considering *others* above yourself you will :
Show up to work on time and do a good job.
Be thankful for whatever food you are served.
Be thankful PERIOD.
Forgive.
Speak kindly.
Be honest.
Not be judgmental.
The list goes on and on.......As mothers,we have so many things we want to instill in our children.If we can instill the attitude of dying to self we have instilled one of the most important things.This will effect every part of their adult lives from their career to marriage.A selfish person is a terrible thing.
The area of selfLESSness that I wanted to talk about in this post is making others feel like a burden.Do you? It is so easy.I have always been big on doing favors for others without letting them know how they are inconveniencing me.(If they are)If I ask for help and I can sense that the person isn't *truly* happy to help,but is complaining inwardly,I would rather not have the help.No one wants to feel like a burden.It is a miserable feeling! When my dh asks me "Can you do me a favor?" I always say "Sure!". I feel like if I say "What?" first that I am saying "Well,let me know what it is first and I will decide if I feel like doing it." I like to let him know that I am willing and happy to help him with *whatever* he needs help with.It is not conditional.I know he will not ask anything unreasonable of me and if for some reason ,what he asks is impossible for me to do because of circumstance, I can tell him that and he will understand.He knew that I had a willing heart though.Now we may not be able to reply with a "Sure!" to just anybody's request of a favor because some people *are* unreasonable and there are also some things that we just don't have the time to do.I think we can always reply with a happy "I would surely love to help you if it is possible for me.....What do you need?"If we *do* decide to help someone,it should be done without sighs and complaining.It should be done joyfully.Not that you have to necessarily love what they are asking you to do,but love that you have the opportunity to help.Also remember that Christians should be doing everything "as unto CHRIST".
Another thing I have been thinking about recently.......The same thing but a step further.When someone comes to your house or calls to ask you a favor and you say "Sure!" do you then hang up the phone/shut the door and let out a big sigh in front of your children and begin to complain about it? I am really feeling convicted about that lately and feeling like it is hypocrisy.It does not seem right for my children to see me smile happily at my neighbor and tell him "Sure we can help!" and then as soon as they are out of sight they see my smile vanish and the complaints start.Not only that but how would you feel if the tables were turned?YOU needed help and your neighbor happily agreed.How would you feel if you knew that your happy,willing to help neighbor was griping and complaining behind your back? We are to treat others the way WE would like to be treated.
Do our husbands feel that we are always happy to serve them?Do they feel they could ask a favor and that we are always glad to help if possible?
Do our children feel that they are a joy to us?Do we sigh and complain about our jobs and make them feel like they are burdening us?
I am really going to be concentrating on this and making sure that I am *truly* Christlike in this area.I have much work to do.*Especially* with my children.I need to do my job with joy and thankfulness.If Christ were here (and HE IS!) I wouldn't be giving impatient sighs because I have to correct a child yet *again*.I desired children so much and he has granted me the desires of my heart! I should be THANKFUL that I have them to train! Thankful that I have them to correct! A burden is something that we would like to be FREE of! Lord please keep me from portraying that attitude that my children are a burden!
"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.
Look not every man on his own things,but every man also on the things of others.
Let this mind be in you,which was also in Christ Jesus:"
I think these verses are HUGE for Christians and just society period.This *is* Christianity, and even though only Christians *really* understand the depth of it, think how society would be if *everyone* considered themselves first.That *is* what is happening in the world but thankfully,at this point,there are still many,many,many loving,caring,good hearted NON christians.They are getting fewer and fewer though.Especially in the younger generations!
The attitude taught in the above verses is one that my dh and I are really,really,passionate about instilling into our children.Think of all the areas it applies to.If you are considering *others* above yourself you will :
Show up to work on time and do a good job.
Be thankful for whatever food you are served.
Be thankful PERIOD.
Forgive.
Speak kindly.
Be honest.
Not be judgmental.
The list goes on and on.......As mothers,we have so many things we want to instill in our children.If we can instill the attitude of dying to self we have instilled one of the most important things.This will effect every part of their adult lives from their career to marriage.A selfish person is a terrible thing.
The area of selfLESSness that I wanted to talk about in this post is making others feel like a burden.Do you? It is so easy.I have always been big on doing favors for others without letting them know how they are inconveniencing me.(If they are)If I ask for help and I can sense that the person isn't *truly* happy to help,but is complaining inwardly,I would rather not have the help.No one wants to feel like a burden.It is a miserable feeling! When my dh asks me "Can you do me a favor?" I always say "Sure!". I feel like if I say "What?" first that I am saying "Well,let me know what it is first and I will decide if I feel like doing it." I like to let him know that I am willing and happy to help him with *whatever* he needs help with.It is not conditional.I know he will not ask anything unreasonable of me and if for some reason ,what he asks is impossible for me to do because of circumstance, I can tell him that and he will understand.He knew that I had a willing heart though.Now we may not be able to reply with a "Sure!" to just anybody's request of a favor because some people *are* unreasonable and there are also some things that we just don't have the time to do.I think we can always reply with a happy "I would surely love to help you if it is possible for me.....What do you need?"If we *do* decide to help someone,it should be done without sighs and complaining.It should be done joyfully.Not that you have to necessarily love what they are asking you to do,but love that you have the opportunity to help.Also remember that Christians should be doing everything "as unto CHRIST".
Another thing I have been thinking about recently.......The same thing but a step further.When someone comes to your house or calls to ask you a favor and you say "Sure!" do you then hang up the phone/shut the door and let out a big sigh in front of your children and begin to complain about it? I am really feeling convicted about that lately and feeling like it is hypocrisy.It does not seem right for my children to see me smile happily at my neighbor and tell him "Sure we can help!" and then as soon as they are out of sight they see my smile vanish and the complaints start.Not only that but how would you feel if the tables were turned?YOU needed help and your neighbor happily agreed.How would you feel if you knew that your happy,willing to help neighbor was griping and complaining behind your back? We are to treat others the way WE would like to be treated.
Do our husbands feel that we are always happy to serve them?Do they feel they could ask a favor and that we are always glad to help if possible?
Do our children feel that they are a joy to us?Do we sigh and complain about our jobs and make them feel like they are burdening us?
I am really going to be concentrating on this and making sure that I am *truly* Christlike in this area.I have much work to do.*Especially* with my children.I need to do my job with joy and thankfulness.If Christ were here (and HE IS!) I wouldn't be giving impatient sighs because I have to correct a child yet *again*.I desired children so much and he has granted me the desires of my heart! I should be THANKFUL that I have them to train! Thankful that I have them to correct! A burden is something that we would like to be FREE of! Lord please keep me from portraying that attitude that my children are a burden!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Are you leading yourself into temptation?
For years I have worked at the outward signs of anger.Raising my voice,using bad tones,having a mad look on my face etc. etc. but I have recently realized that I have been going about it the wrong way.
What is the Lord's answer to overcoming temptation? All through scripture we see the same admonition.Avoid it,seperate yourselves,refrain from it,
1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived:evil communications corrupt good manners.
Proverbs 4:14,15 Enter not into the path of the wicked,and go not in the way of evil men.
Avoid it,pass not by it,turn from it,and pass away.
Proverbs 1:10,15 My son,if sinners entice thee,consent thou not....................(15) My son,walk not thou in the way with them;refrain thy foot from their path.
Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire into his bosom,and his clothes not be burned?
Luke 11:4 .........And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.
When we become a christian that doesn't mean that we are above temptation.The Lord tells us to avoid it if at all possible.He doesn't say to go around it and then pray real hard that you don't fall.He says to flee from it if at all possible! Yes,we should pray for strength to be overcomers in this world, but we also need to follow the directions that he already gave us!Yes,if we are faced with temptations,we should not give into them.We CAN overcome them with God's help but the FIRST step is to make sure that we are following HIS commandments and refraining as much as possible.
So that means that a struggling alcoholic should not have a 12 pack in his refrigerator.He should not go to a bar and watch everyone drink and he should not be hanging around other alcoholics.He can't do all of these things willingly and expect to overcome the temptation.The Lord's ways are best and if he tells us that "evil communications corrupt good manners" who are we to say "Oh,I won't be influenced or tempted!" ?????
So how does this apply to anger?
I was thinking......By allowing myself to BE angry but trying to control the outward signs of anger,I am,in a sense..................the alcoholic trying not to drink the beer sitting in front of him.I need to just follow the scripture:
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
I need to eliminate the anger and the outward signs of anger will vanish! It is foolish to allow the anger to live with me and try not to be influenced by it's powers.I need to kick it out!
I have already seen it work in one area of my life and so I am really convinced.I used to get frustrated/mad at my dh over little things and often.Little STUPID things.I was quick to be angry at him.I was quick to get over it too and I always felt so bad!
Well,some dear MOMYS made a post challenging everyone to list 25 things that they love about their husbands.I had no troubles making my list and after I was done I thought...."How could I ever get mad at this man??????????/" I decided to just STOP it! I have always thought he was WONDERFUL and the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life but making that list just really opened my eyes even wider.I only have so much time with this godly man and I am sure not going to spend it feeling anger at him over silly things!Neither of us are perfect!
Well it has been wonderful and it works! Now I am working on eliminating my anger with my children! It is to easy to get frustrated when you have so many children to train! I get frustrated to quickly with them and it needs to stop.They are so precious and they deserve a patient mother.No,I am not angry all the time.....I am usually very happy......I do struggle with frustration though,sometimes every day.I am praying that I can get over this and I know I will with HIS help.
What is the Lord's answer to overcoming temptation? All through scripture we see the same admonition.Avoid it,seperate yourselves,refrain from it,
1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived:evil communications corrupt good manners.
Proverbs 4:14,15 Enter not into the path of the wicked,and go not in the way of evil men.
Avoid it,pass not by it,turn from it,and pass away.
Proverbs 1:10,15 My son,if sinners entice thee,consent thou not....................(15) My son,walk not thou in the way with them;refrain thy foot from their path.
Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire into his bosom,and his clothes not be burned?
Luke 11:4 .........And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.
When we become a christian that doesn't mean that we are above temptation.The Lord tells us to avoid it if at all possible.He doesn't say to go around it and then pray real hard that you don't fall.He says to flee from it if at all possible! Yes,we should pray for strength to be overcomers in this world, but we also need to follow the directions that he already gave us!Yes,if we are faced with temptations,we should not give into them.We CAN overcome them with God's help but the FIRST step is to make sure that we are following HIS commandments and refraining as much as possible.
So that means that a struggling alcoholic should not have a 12 pack in his refrigerator.He should not go to a bar and watch everyone drink and he should not be hanging around other alcoholics.He can't do all of these things willingly and expect to overcome the temptation.The Lord's ways are best and if he tells us that "evil communications corrupt good manners" who are we to say "Oh,I won't be influenced or tempted!" ?????
So how does this apply to anger?
I was thinking......By allowing myself to BE angry but trying to control the outward signs of anger,I am,in a sense..................the alcoholic trying not to drink the beer sitting in front of him.I need to just follow the scripture:
Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
I need to eliminate the anger and the outward signs of anger will vanish! It is foolish to allow the anger to live with me and try not to be influenced by it's powers.I need to kick it out!
I have already seen it work in one area of my life and so I am really convinced.I used to get frustrated/mad at my dh over little things and often.Little STUPID things.I was quick to be angry at him.I was quick to get over it too and I always felt so bad!
Well,some dear MOMYS made a post challenging everyone to list 25 things that they love about their husbands.I had no troubles making my list and after I was done I thought...."How could I ever get mad at this man??????????/" I decided to just STOP it! I have always thought he was WONDERFUL and the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life but making that list just really opened my eyes even wider.I only have so much time with this godly man and I am sure not going to spend it feeling anger at him over silly things!Neither of us are perfect!
Well it has been wonderful and it works! Now I am working on eliminating my anger with my children! It is to easy to get frustrated when you have so many children to train! I get frustrated to quickly with them and it needs to stop.They are so precious and they deserve a patient mother.No,I am not angry all the time.....I am usually very happy......I do struggle with frustration though,sometimes every day.I am praying that I can get over this and I know I will with HIS help.
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