Week 2~Start the day right!

                                                             


Week 2!

I have no idea how many are still with me but even if there only a couple of us that's OK! :):)

This weeks challenge is based on the following scriptures......Some of my favorites!

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally,my brethren,be strong in the Lord,and in the power of his might.

Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,but against principalities,against powers,against the rulers of the darkness of this world,against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,and having done all,to stand.

Stand therefore,having your loins girt about with truth,and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all,taking the shield of faith,wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

And take the helmet of salvation,and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God:

Praying always with prayer,and supplication in the Spirit,and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

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Aren't those scriptures amazing????????

So for week #2 the goal is to start your day out right.What is right? Well,there is no one right way but I have been asking myself this.......If I REALLY believe that the Lord is our help(which I DO) and I REALLY believe that that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (which I DO) then WHY do I not go to HIM for help before I head into battle!


I have so many goals,so many things I want to do better in,so many areas that need improvement yet I ignore the best source of strength I have! I head right into "battle" without my armour and wonder why I fall so much!

I am striving for a 1/2 hour of Scripture,prayer,reading godly books,getting my priorities straight in the morning before I start my day.

There is NOTHING that can make me a better wife/mother/christian than God's WORD and HIS strength!

So as we head into week 2 lets make sure we continue.....

1,Greeting our men with JOY and being pleasant for at least 15 minutes.

AND let's work on this new goal of starting our days with the Lord's strength!

"For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.

Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;

Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.


Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife:but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 22:24,25  Make no friendship with an angry man;and with a furious man thou shalt not go.
Lest thou learn his ways,and get a snare to thy soul.

Proverbs 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly:and a man of wicked devices is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to  wrath is of great understanding:but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

James 1:19,20 Wherefore,my beloved brethren,let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak,slow to wrath:

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Do you ever get mad at your husband? I am pretty sure that everyone of us will say "Yes".Some of us have more of a problem than others but I think we can all relate.

This post is not only written by me.I had some wonderful ladies (MOMYS) give me some wonderful,godly advice when I was looking for ways to  help me STOP being angry at my husband..I have a wonderful marriage,an absolutely fantastic husband.........but I find myself getting upset  easily at petty things and I don't like it.

Below is a summary of the wonderful conversation that we had.Alot of things are re-written to save space and some things are exact words.I tried to summarize everything to make it short and powerful.I plan on printing or writing it all out to put in the front of a little book I am making.The book will be for me to write down all of the wonderful things that my husband does for me.Those things are so easily forgotten.Why is it that we humans love to concentrate on the negative?

Anyhow........

How do you keep from getting angry with your husband?

1.The very first thing we must remember is that God has forgiven us and shows us IMMENSE mercy and grace every day. And the way we approach others must flow out of that.When Our Father has forgiven so much already in us...who are we to get angry and stew?


Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,but that which is good to the use of edifying,that it may minister grace unto the hearers.



And grieve not the holy Spirit of God,whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.


Let all bitterness,and wrath,and anger,and clamour,and evil speaking,be put away from you,with all malice.

And be ye kind to one another,tenderhearted,forgiving one another,even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;


And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:


Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.


Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;


Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.

Our only hope is in the mercy of God. This isn't pie in the sky--it's very practical. In his mercy He provided means whereby He gives us His grace. If we neglect those means, we soon see the effects show up in our life.


One of those means is His living and powerful Word that slices deeply into us and changes us. Meditate on His Word so that it is there when He needs to use it. Don't go into a battle un-armed.(Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.")

1 Peter 2:18-23 Servants,be subject to your masters with all fear;not only to the good and gentle,but also to the froward.

For this is thankworthy,if a man for conscience toward God endure grief,suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it,if,when ye be buffeted for your faults,ye shall take it patiently?but if,when ye do well,and suffer for it,ye take it patiently,this is acceptable with God.

For even hereunto were ye called:because Christ also suffered for us,leaving us an example,that ye should follow His steps:

Who did no sin.neither was guile found in his mouth:

Who,when he was reviled,reviled not again;when he suffered,he threatened not....................

We must go back to Him for grace over and over and over and over. WE NEED His help SO much! We are SO hopeless without Him!

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing,that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

 We can't use human logic and human gumption to fix the surface level issue.We might get self-control over outer displays of anger, but it could easily turn into a point of spiritual pride--"See my dh sinning and I am so godly that *I* am rising above that."

 We MUST allow God to deal with that root inside.

When we struggle to extend grace toward others.....We need to remember that God  has forgiven ALL of our sins, even when we did NOT deserve it. ".......if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye."

2.Concentrate on yourself.Remember that you are two individuals in one marriage. YOU are responsible for YOU 100% of the time. If he does something or says something, you are still responsible for how YOU react or what comes out of YOUR mouth.

If you are angry at your dh,it is *YOUR* problem,not his.Do not blame your anger on him saying...."Well,if we wouldn't do xyz I would not be mad.He *causes* me to act like this because of his selfishness." etc.



Remember that you CAN NOT change your husband.Only the Lord can do that.He will grow his people as he sees fit.Make sure you are being a godly help and encouragment to those around you,including your husband.*Maybe* you are 99% right but you will never be 100%  right.You will *always* have plenty of things to work on in your own spiritual life.There is also a very good chance that you are not right, but your husband is.Remember.......

You were made to be your husbands helper,not the other way around. (Gen 2:18)

You are to submit to your husband "As unto the Lord......." Ephesians 5:22 (Yes,our husbands are told to love us like Christ loved the church but we can't *demand* that of them.They will be accountable for their *own* actions just like we will ours.)

Our husbands will not always "deserve" our respect but we do it anyway because it is required by us of the LORD.(Of course,we are never to do anything against the Lord in the name of submission but that is an entirely different topic.) Do you always deserve to be loved like Christ loved the church?

The fruit of the Spirit is love,joy,peace,longsuffering,gentleness,goodness,faith,meeknes,temperness......(Gal 5:22,23)

3.Don't have unrealistic expectations.Accept the fact that you are married to an imperfect man and you always will be.He is married to an imperfect wife and always will be.You knew this when you married.

Ask yourself  how important the matter really is.Anger can make you feel physically and spiritually sick.Most of the time we should choose to just forgive, take our thoughts captive, make them obedient to Christ and move on....and quickly. It isn't worth the pattern of anger, bitterness, etc. We can't allow the enemy a foothold in ou heart or in our marriages.


If it is truly a matter of importance,take it quickly to the Father and ask how to handle it.Do not let anger lead to bitterness and take root.

4.Don't allow yourself to believe lies.

Do you ever find yourself thinking things like "He doesn't care about what I want.He doesn't love me,if he did,he wouldn't do this......I would *never* do something like that to him because I love him."

Remember his heart.Just because he forgets not to wear his muddy shoes in the house does not mean that he doesn't care about you or that he is selfish and deep down,you know that.The death bed scene always comes to my head......If your dh were dying and he told you "Sweetheart,I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you and wasn't the perfect husband for you.I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for forgetting my laundry laying around,for all the times I came home from work to late and for wearing my muddy shoes in the house.I always loved you and tried my best.I'm sorry if I made decisions that you didn't agree with,I was just trying to guide our home in the way I thought was godly."

Sound ridiculous? Thats because it is!If such a scene ever happened though,what would you say to your dh? I know what you would say.The same thing I would say.I know how you would feel. Let's stop looking into things farther than we should.Let's stop worrying so much about the unimportant,ridiculous things.This could be the last day you have with your dh.Life is precious...don't allow your anger to steal a moment of joy away from you. When anger *does* happen, don't sin.(Eph 4:26) Choose the joyful, forgiving path. The view is beautiful on that path.


5. Be thankful.Dwell on the many, wonderful things about your husband.

Philippians 4:8 Finally,brethren,whatsoever things are true,whatsoever things are honest,whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure,whatsoever things are lovely,whatsoever things are of good report;if there be any virtue,and if there be any praise,think on these things.

Think of all the wonderful things your man IS.Write them all down,tell him how much you appreciate them,speak of them to your children.Be THANKFUL.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness;and be content with such things as ye have:for he hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee.


6. Pray together.

My husband and I started this months ago and this has been amazing.When I hear him pray for wisdom and strength to guide his family for the Lord and cherish me,as his wife,like he should.......I am so much more forgiving because it reminds me of the heart of gold that he has.It helps me to NOT believe the lies when they try to creep in.

7. Refrain from using words like "Never" and "Always" when you are referring to your husbands behaviour.

They provoke wrath.:)

8. Distract yourself. When you find you are dwelling on something negative about your dh,get your mind on something else.

Sing,count your blessings,get busy doing something to keep your mind on something GOOD rather than dwelling on something you shouldn't be dwelling on.

9. Ask the Lord to help you re-kindle the passion you had when you first fell in love.

Make sure you are making time for your marriage.Let you husband KNOW that you are still passionate about him.Make sure that the children,laundry or anything else is NOT coming first over your dh.Men can be prone to being easily irritable and act in unloving ways towards us when they are not getting their needs met.Lets make sure we are being everything they need in a wife,to the best of our capability.Keep the flame burning.When you are feeling "in love" you can overlook so many faults.

10. LAUGH.

Use the tool of laughter.When he does something that is prone to make you angry or irritated,just laugh about how funny it really is. How is it that a grown man cannot learn how to put his socks in the hamper? LOL That is just ridiculous! LOL Choose to not take it personally.Don't choose to believe that he does it because he is selfish. It is likely just something thoughtless he does, and it'll likely never change.Just pick them up and put them away and praise God you have a husband who is leaving socks around for you to pick up. (he is alive and present with your family).

Victory!

Today was sewing day.Grandma comes down and us girls (my dd's,Grandma and I) sit down and crochet/knit/cross stitch and have a nice peaceful time.

lol

The way it usually goes is that Grandma and girls crochet while I *attempt* to crochet and at the same time, nurse a baby,tell little boys that if they are going to sit with me that they have to be still,tell boys to quit flipping around the living room,tell boys that I don't want to hear gun shot imitations right now,tell boys to quit wrestling,tell boys to sit in one spot and stay there,tell boys to be SILENT AND FOLD YOUR HANDS!

lol JK.....but is sure is tempting sometimes! :) Actually I do occasionally tell them to be silent and fold their hands when they really need to calm down but it doesn't go like described above lol.

So today Mamma is smart and has boys sitting on a blanket to STAY there with Tuesday's activity pack.They had toy educational computers,new books,a few special toys and PLAYDOUGH. (what was I thinking?).So,apparently I should have them  sit on a dishtowel instead of a blanket because they can do quite a bit of running/wrestling/tag playing etc. on a blanket and they did a real good job at getting playdough everywhere....Like pea size pieces and smaller.:)

So I am attempting to work on a quilt square while all of this is going on and my irritation and frustration starts building up....You know ,that attitude that equals saying ..."Can't I ever have any peace and quiet for one moment?" I am not actually THINKING those words, but it's that ugly attitude. I feel the sigh start coming on....You know "Poor me,I have all of these noisy,hyper,loud,energetic,LOUD boys that keep interupting me."

Then out of the blue ,(Thank you Lord), it hit me that there is no reason to get irritated.This can be taken care of without acting like this.So we got everything cleaned up and I got the boys reading books and eventually my 3yo fell asleep and all went well.

It didn't hit me till tonight while sitting in the living room having coffee with my dh that:

"Hey,the outcome was the same."

I told him that the outcome was the same.We got through the ordeal without bad attitudes from Mamma and the outcome was the same! No one suffered.My bad attitude would have benefited NOTHING.My dh corrected me though and told me that no,the outcome was totally different.Meaning,so much BETTER.SO much was accomplished by keeping a good attitude and not getting angry.

Everyone gained and Mamma didn't have to go througha guilt trip for being irritated with her precious children.

Wow! Thank you Lord!

Are you leading yourself into temptation?

For years I have worked at the outward signs of anger.Raising my voice,using bad tones,having a mad look on my face etc. etc. but I have recently realized that I have been going about it the wrong way.

What is the Lord's answer to overcoming temptation? All through scripture we see the same admonition.Avoid it,seperate yourselves,refrain from it,

1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived:evil communications corrupt good manners.

Proverbs 4:14,15 Enter not into the path of the wicked,and go not in the way of evil men.

Avoid it,pass not by it,turn from it,and pass away.

Proverbs 1:10,15 My son,if sinners entice thee,consent thou not....................(15) My son,walk not thou in the way with them;refrain thy foot from their path.

Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire into his bosom,and his clothes not be burned?

Luke 11:4 .........And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.

When we become a christian that doesn't mean that we are above temptation.The Lord tells us to avoid it if at all possible.He doesn't say to go around it and then pray real hard that you don't fall.He says to flee from it if at all possible! Yes,we should pray for strength to be overcomers in this world, but we also need to follow the directions that he already gave us!Yes,if we are faced with temptations,we should not give into them.We CAN overcome them with God's help but the FIRST step is to make sure that we are following HIS commandments and refraining as much as possible.

So that means that a struggling alcoholic should not have a 12 pack in his refrigerator.He should not go to a bar and watch everyone drink and he should not be hanging around other alcoholics.He can't do all of these things willingly and expect to overcome the temptation.The Lord's ways are best and if  he tells us that "evil communications corrupt good manners" who are we to say "Oh,I won't be influenced or tempted!" ?????

So how does this apply to anger?

I was thinking......By allowing myself to BE angry but trying to control the outward signs of anger,I am,in a sense..................the alcoholic trying not to drink the beer sitting in front of him.I need to just follow the scripture:


Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

I need to eliminate the anger and the outward signs of anger will vanish! It is foolish to allow the anger to live with me and try not to be influenced by it's powers.I need to kick it out!

I have already seen it work in one area of my life and so I am really convinced.I used to get frustrated/mad at my dh over little things and often.Little STUPID things.I was quick to be angry at him.I was quick to get over it too and I always felt so bad!

Well,some dear MOMYS made a post challenging everyone to list 25 things that they love about their husbands.I had no troubles making my list and after I was done I thought...."How could I ever get mad at this man??????????/" I decided to just STOP it! I have always thought he was WONDERFUL and the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life but making that list just really opened my eyes even wider.I only have so much time with this godly man and I am sure not going to spend it feeling anger at him over silly things!Neither of us are perfect!

Well it has been wonderful and it works! Now I am working on eliminating my anger with my children! It is to easy to get frustrated when you have so many children to train! I get frustrated to quickly with them and it needs to stop.They are so precious and they deserve a patient mother.No,I am not angry all the time.....I am usually very happy......I do struggle with frustration though,sometimes every day.I am praying that I can get over this and I know I will with HIS help.

Soft answers vs. grevious words

Proverbs 15:1

"A soft answer turneth away wrath:but grevious words stir up anger."

Such a simple,short verse that says so much.I have seen it proven true to many times to even count.I know how I feel when people use "grevious words" with me and I know how my children feel when I use "grevious words" with them.

I so badly want to raise my children with the right attitudes.I don't want them to be angry,frustrated and impatient.It doesn't make a whole lot of sense to get angry with them,use grevious words (or tones) and then turn around and correct them for being angry and impatient.That simply can't go on.We are stopping it around here.Our children are getting older and we are finding that lo and behold,while we have been teaching them so many good and godly things,we have also taught them our bad habits! Aren't the Lord's ways amazing? He blesses young,ignorant couples with children and while they train their children,HE uses the children to open the parents eyes on an unlimited amount of things that they need to change.So parents and children are learning together but there is one other wonderful thing that he has done.He instills this blind,forgiving love in children towards their parents.A love that says "Mamma,you are the best mother in the world" and "Mamma! You don't EVER treat us bad!" . My prayer and hope is that when my children lose the rose colored glasses that they will have received so much love and care from us that they will easily forgive our faults,knowing that we truly did devote our lives to them,that raising them in a godly home was our biggest priority and that we love them more than anything else in this world.

This is my verse for the day.I am going to concentrate on speaking softly.It works,of that I am positive.It has immediate effects on everyone.It is actually pretty amazing but I shouldn't be surprised as God's ways are perfect.I want to get them engraved into my heart and mind more and more and more.

Eliminating anger.

My response is my responsibility,my response is my responsibility,my response is my responsibility...............................

I have been trying to memorize those words and keep them in my head.I recently read them in a book called "Love and Respect" and boy,it is quite hard to remember when the anger starts creeping in..It is much easier to blame my bad attitude on someone else.That is wrong though.The way that we respond to any situation is OUR responsibility.No matter how in the wrong our husbands are or how difficult our children are being.

It is late and I would be in bed by now if it weren't for a certain fussy,teething baby.:) I am so thankful for him but as he was fussing I found myself feeling  irritated. I just wanted to go to bed! But........my response is my responsibility! I can't become impatient because my precious little baby is fussing.I need to be patient,kind and loving because it is RIGHT.I need to do everything as unto Christ!

Our circumstances are not to *blame* for the way we act.They reveal who we really are inside.When the pressure is put on,the true colors/scents are revealed.

It is easy to be a loving wife to a husband who brings home flowers every night,washes the dishes and tells you to go take a nice hot bath ALONE.:)

Not so easy to be loving to one who comes home in a bad mood because of problems at work and starts snapping at everyone.

It is easy to be thankful when everything is perfect but how thankful are we when things don't go as planned or things just go downright BAD?

It is easy to be full of faith when life is grand but when tragedies happen how is our faith?

The author of "Love and Respect" gives an example of a rose and a skunk.If you step on either of them,they reveal their "fragrance".Why do they smell the ways they do? Did stepping on them make them smell that way? No,they already had the smell within but when you put the pressure on,it caused the smell to be released.

When the pressure is put on do you smell like a skunk or a rose? I thought this was so excellent I just had to share it!

Well,off to bed!