Forgiveness

Hi ladies! How is everyone? I am doing just great here.......I just wanted to throw a couple thoughts out there for you to think about......

We all know that the negative things that our husbands do over and over and over again are the things that really get  to us.They tend to BUILD up and every time the offense occurs again,all of the past offenses come rushing back in too and it can REALLY get you mad if you are not careful.

How do we want the Lord to deal with *our* repeated sins though? We ALL have areas that we struggle with consistently.We need to make sure that we are giving our husbands the same mercy and forgiveness that we wish the Lord to give us.

The second thing.......Are you able to forgive your husband without an apology from him? It's a really good thing to practice.Sometimes he may not realize he is wrong.You can tell him how he makes you feel when he does this or says that but sometimes he won't SEE it or understand.It might take him YEARS to understand you in some areas and then again,you might find out down the road that YOU were the one in the wrong! That's happened to me *many* times.

Or he might KNOW that he's wrong but just be too hard headed to apologize.:) Can you still forgive him?

I can't help but look to the Lord again and be SO thankful for all of the times he has forgiven me and had mercy on me.Even when I was living in sin for years and didn't realize it.Or the times that I know I am wrong but am too lazy,careless or frustrated to truly repent to the Lord.

Lets be SURE to give the same forgiveness to our men (and others) that WE ourselves receive from the Lord!!

Matthew 18 is an amazing chapter on forgiveness.........It can really straighten up your wrong attitudes (something I need daily).

Practice Makes Perfect

Time for a little practice.........:)

Pick ONE thing that your dh does that you think is unwise,irresponsible,a bad influence,a waste of time etc.etc.

Think long and hard about this........Pick one of those things that bother you daily,or at least almost daily.

Do you have your thing? (Bet it wasn't too hard to think of something was it?) :):)

Now......

Write it down on a piece of paper, and look long and hard at it.

Finally............Crumple it up,throw it in the trash or even BURN it.

Let that thing go.Determine to STOP caring about that thing.

Let that chip fall off of your shoulder forever.

Don't EVER let it ruin another evening.......Not even another MOMENT.

Remember that you have NO idea what the Lord is doing in your husbands life OR yours.

Remember that the job the Lord gave YOU as your husbands help meet is to reverence,support,respect,love,encourage etc. etc.

Not to nag,complain,or criticize.

You will find it wanting to rest on your shoulder again but don't let it.Brush it off every.single.time.

Before you know it...........You will find that it never or atleast rarely,weighs you down anymore,AND I almost guarantee that your husband will notice it.Instead of doing that thing MORE.........

He just might do it less.

(But make sure you aren't DOING it to try to get him to do it less.Make sure you are making these changes because they are RIGHT,expecting nothing in return.)

You are practicing JOY.

The World's Way

Or God's way?

The world says that marriage should be 50/50. That *sounds* good, but it isn't.Just look around at the world's marriages.Most marriages are bad.It's true.How many people do you know of with a blissfully happy marriage?

Marriage should be 100/100.Each of you should be putting 100% into your marriage, always.

If he only puts 10%,you *still* put 100%.

It may sound crazy, but it isn't.

It is a perfect and wonderful plan.


Week 1-Greet him with JOY when he comes home and then keep your words sweet for *at least* 15 minutes.


Week 2-Start your day strong! Take time to get your priorities straight.Pray for strength and read your Bible.

Week 3-Never scold your husband.

Week 4-.Be determined to be what the Lord desires you to do be regardless of what your husband does or how he acts.

How has everyone been doing? Have your husbands noticed and differences?How are *you* feeling?What have you learned?

I have been doing great on 1&3......They aren't issues for me.

2- I have been having a harder time remembering! The morning just slips away from me sometimes! I have only missed a couple of days though! Sometimes I start later than I would like.I WILL keep working at it!

4- I have been doing great but this is something that I *always* have to work on.

On a fun note,what is everyone doing for Valentines day? :)

Guess what we are doing? lol We are planning to *get together* (if you know what I mean *wink*) :) every.single.day this month! lol It will be fun! I dare you to try it with your husband! :)

I am off for now.......Scott will be home soon and I want to be in decent clothes! :):):)

Influencing Our Husbands?

Week 1-Greet him with JOY when he comes home and then keep your words sweet for *at least* 15 minutes.


Week 2-Start your day strong! Take time to get your priorities straight.Pray for strength and read your Bible.

Week 3-Never scold your husband.

Then THIS week is........

Week 4-Be determined to be what the Lord desires you to do be regardless of what your husband does or how he acts


My dear friend Tina,from A gentle Mother,shared this with me and I thought it fit PERFECT with our topic this week.Here it is........

"How can she (a wife) make sure that her influence over her husband will be for good, that he will be a better man, more successful in his career and more happy because she is his wife? Not by any mere moral posturing so as to seem to have lofty purpose and wise thoughts of life; not by having any weak resolving to help him and be an uplifting inspiration to him; not by perpetual preaching and lecturing on a husband's duties and on manly character; she can only do it by being in the very depths of her soul, in every thought and impulse of her heart and in every fibre of her nature, a true and noble woman. She will make him not like what she tells him he ought to be, but like what she herself is."


~J.R. Miller Home-Making (aka The Family Life) 1882
 
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Such wonderful stuff.........We need to be sure that we are doing what we are doing for the Lord.It needs to be what we ARE because of HIM.If you are trying to be a good wife so that your husband will change,you have the wrong attitude.You need to strive to be godly because it is what you ARE.
 
If we are only acting in certain ways for a time so that we can influence,it won't work.I have had people try the things I talk about here and after a few weeks they say "It's not WORKING!"
 
That is the wrong attitude.
 
Strive to serve the Lord.
Strive to do his will.
Study his word.
Pray to him for wisdom and strength.
Seek to please HIM everyday.
Change for HIM.
 
HE will do the work..............He has a plan and you have no idea what it is.
 
Become the kind of wife that the Lord  wants you to be, expecting NOTHING from your husband.
 
This is the attitude you must have.
 
We can be a huge influence on our husbands but it has to be what we ARE.
 
Not what we are for a few weeks because we are trying to change him........

The biggest marriage stumbling block.......

First of all,I am sorry that I have not written ANYTHING in the last 2 days! I missed Friday,planned on catching up on Saturday and then I was in town until 3:00!!!!! After that it was date night and the time just slipped away...........Sunday is just a "How did you do this week?" day and since only a couple people actually tell me how they are doing...........:):):):) I didn't think it was that important to do Sunday.:)

I *DO* have 8 weeks of things planned though! I literally have *something* planned every day for the next 5 weeks so I am not quitting! :) Even though no one is *saying* anything I see plenty of traffic here so I am assuming that people are still reading and just to busy to post which is FINE! :):)

So let us proceed with week 4! :):):)

I want to say here that everything I am writing comes from *my* experiences.These are the things I have learned and have come to believe throughout the 15 years that I have been a wife.I want to share them with others.I don't claim to be perfect and I do expect you to be considering your OWN husband and his desires as you go along here.All marriages are different.

Now that that is said.......... :)

Week four is about what I believe is the biggest marriage stumbling block.It is actually the biggest relationship stumbling block PERIOD.

"I will do what I am supposed to do if you do what you are supposed to do."

Yep..........We ALL know about that one.

The habit for week 4 is something that you will have to work on every day for the rest of your life.( me too)

Here it is.........

Be determined to be what the Lord desires you to do be regardless of what your husband does or how he acts.

It's that simple.

You say "Well what about him????? What about the things HE is supposed to do?"

What about them? Can you force him to do those things? No more than he can force YOU to do the things YOU should do for him.

You say "Why is it all the woman? Why does the woman have to do all the changing?"

It is NOT all the woman.Both woman AND man will face the Lord someday.He does not require any more from a woman than he does a man.

He commands women to serve HIM with all of their heart and soul.
He commands men to serve HIM with all of their heart and soul.

Will you face the Lord someday and tell him "Lord,I was not obedient to you because my husband was not being obedient to you."

No.

Well,you might try it but it won't get you anywhere.

Be determined to be what the Lord desires you to do be regardless of what your husband does or how he acts.

If you are a christian,your job is to serve the Lord and if you are a wife,part of that job is to serve your husband.

1 Corinthians 11:3

But I would have you know,that the head of every man is Christ;and the head of the woman is the man;and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 3:9

Neither was the man created for the woman;but the woman for the man.

Ephesians 5:22-24

Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands,as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife,even as Christ is the head of the church:and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.

Read 1st Peter chapter 3.

THIS is your job.It is not your job to make sure that your husband is doing his job.Your job is to follow the Lord's commandments.

This is what week 4 is about.........

Be determined to be what the Lord desires you to do be regardless of what your husband does or how he acts.

When a situation happens that makes it hard for you to respect your husband like you should........Look past him and see Christ.

Do it for Christ.


Do it because you want to be a godly woman.

Share your thoughts here about 1 Peter chapter 3!!!!!!

Do not scold your man.......

                                                                          



Week 3 ladies!

Week 1-Greet him with JOY when he comes home and then keep your words sweet for *at least* 15 minutes.

Week 2-Start your day strong! Take time to get your priorities straight.Pray for strength and read your Bible.

Now week 3 is this...........

Do not ever scold your husband.

He is not your child.

We mothers are very prone to including our husbands in with our children when it comes to correction/admonishing/scolding.We need to be VERY careful not to do this.

I have been asked what I believe is appropriate and what is not appropriate as far as correcting your husband.I am going to give several examples of what *I* feel is respectful in this area.Examples to show how *I* have handled things over the years.I am not giving these as FACTS, but my opinions.I will say that I have an excellent marriage and my husband would tell you the same.I will also say that I have never seen a happy marriage where the wife was in the "mother" role towards her husband."Scolding" him and correcting him at every turn.

We need to remember these scriptures as we go along.

Ephesians 5:22- 24

Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands,as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife,even as Christ is the head of the church:and he is the saviour of the body.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:33

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself;and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

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I thought I would use the definitions below to help me explain.



Scolding

1.the action of one who scolds


2: a harsh reproof
 
Admonish
 
1a : to indicate duties or obligations to b : to express warning or disapproval to especially in a gentle, earnest, or solicitous manner


2: to give friendly earnest advice or encouragement to


Correct
 
1a : to make or set right : amend b : counteract, neutralize c : to alter or adjust so as to bring to some standard or required condition


2a : to punish (as a child) with a view to reforming or improving b : to point out usually for amendment the errors or faults of

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Ok,first and foremost.............NEVER,

I repeat,NEVER :) scold(definition #2) your husband in front of others.Even the children.

It is a good idea to never scold your husband period.I don't think I ever have.Not even in private.

My husband would not, and has never, even scolded ME in public or in front of the children and he is not even commanded to reverence ME.

Example of scolding.......

You see your husband rough housing with the children and he falls back onto the coffee table,busting it.

"Now look! You busted the coffee table! I wish you would think about stuff like that! You are being irresponsible and not a good steward of what the Lord has given you and look what a bad example you are being to the children!You are supposed to be TEACHING THEM to be responsible!"

That makes me cringe.

I have heard it many,many,times from many,many wives.

You should never speak to your husband like that.Decide today that you will NEVER scold your husband like that.I don't care if he ruins the furniture,doesn't put the toilet seat down,lets the children do things you don't think he should,doesn't come home when he says he will etc. etc.

Here is a little test to put yourself through.(You don't have to tell us the answer.)

What would you say/how would you act if you asked your husband to watch the children while you took a shower and when you came back out 15 minutes later your toddler was coloring on the walls while your husband was playing a computer game?

Would you scold him? Would you remind him in that *tone* that he was supposed to be watching the children? Would you say alot more than that?

If you are the scolding type,you are doing your marriage and family much harm.All you are doing is showing how little "reverence" you have for your husband.How little you respect him.It will not motivate him to do right.It will only make him feel negative towards you.You will accomplish NOTHING more than tearing your marriage down.

Do NOT scold him.

Your husband has alot of growing and maturing to do,as do you.You can best help him do this by being determined to be his help,his lover,his support.......NOT his mother.Train your children,leave your husband alone.

Can you never tell him that he is wrong?

Well yes,there are definitely times that you can tell your husband that you believe he is wrong ,but when you do it,it shouldn't be in a "scolding" way and it should always be in private.

Ask him how it makes him feel to be scolded by you.(If you are a scolder)

Admonishment

In my marriage I never do 1.a.I do not remind my husband of what he should be doing for the children and I.That is not my place.

 I will do 1.b and 2. if my husband asks for my opinion.(Which he does often). I am very careful though to make my words reverent and respectful.

For instance,lately he is looking for a truck and has asked my opinion *many* times.:) He loves talking about it with me.I give him my opinion BUT I do not expect him to follow it.Whatever he decides is fine.

If I think that Chevy's are junk and he decided to get a Chevy I am not going to admonish him.

If he calls me and tells me that he is going to go look at a truck, I will not admonish him to be careful to make sure it has good tires and that it gets good gas mileage etc.

If he comes home with a truck that cost $10,000.00 more than we wanted to spend I will not admonish him.

I am to submit to him in all things,as unto the Lord,as the church does to Christ....I am to respect him and REVERENCE him......

He chooses the path we are going to go, and I help him along the way.I will respectfully give him my opinions (while being very careful not to be a nag) and then follow him and what he decides.Not admonishing him for his decisions.

Correction

I find it very disrespectful to hear a man telling a group of people a story about a green truck and hear his wife pipe up that "actually it was blue".I am very careful that I do not use this type of correction much.It usually is not respectful or necessary.Once in a while,if it is very important to have the exact facts,I will say something but I make sure it is not in a disrespectful way.

We will joke around alot and that is different.He may be telling a friend about the time he soaked me with the water hose and I won't hesitate to say "You did NOT! I was barely wet! YOU were the one who got soaked!" etc. etc. :)

I better make a disclaimer that if your husband wants to rob banks and have you be the one to hold the gun to the bank tellers head then NO,you should not refrain from correcting him, and you should not submit to him.

So there you go! Those are some of my opinions on this topic.

Week 1-Greet him with JOY when he comes home and then keep your words sweet for *at least* 15 minutes.


Week 2-Start your day strong! Take time to get your priorities straight.Pray for strength and read your Bible.

Week 3-Do not ever scold your husband!

And whatsoever ye do..........

do it heartily,as to the Lord,and not unto men.

We need to always remember what the #1 reason is for being an excellent wife.

We do it because it is RIGHT.Not because our husbands deserve it (sometimes they don't).We most definitely do not always deserve to be loved "as Christ loved the church....." either do we?

Colossians 3:23 And whatsoever ye do,do it heartily,as to the Lord,and not unto men.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives,submit yourselves unto your own husbands,as unto the Lord.

I personally think my husband is pretty perfect (wink) and being an excellent wife to him is EASY most of the time because he is such a wonderful man AND I know his heart.

BUT.......We all have those times when we don't want to bite our tongue.We don't want to respect him.We don't want to keep quiet.We want to throw a little fit.We don't LIKE the decision he is making.

At those times we need to remember to look past him and unto Christ.

Our men are carnal,we are carnal.

The Lord ALWAYS deserves our obedience,our respect,our honour,our love.

So next time you find it hard to do what you SHOULD do,be it to your husband, your mother-in law,your next door neighbor, your child, or the lady at the grocery store.Try to look past them and see the LORD.

HE is why we do what we do and HE will give us the strength to be able to do it.

Psalm 18:1-2

I WILL love thee,O Lord,my strength.

The Lord is my rock,and my fortress,and my deliverer,my God,my strength,in whom I will trust;my buckler,and the horn of my salvation,and my high tower.

Psalm 46:1

God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.

Our new habits........

Week 1~Greet our husbands with Joy and keep our words sweet for 15 min (at least!).
Week 2~Start our days in prayer and with scripture.Drawing strength from the Lord.

Children preventing you......

from starting your day right?

I want to add here that I am NOT saying that every christian MUST start their day with reading scripture/prayer.Just that it helps me ALOT and that I think it is a REALLY good idea :). I don't judge anyone who decided that it works best for them in the afternoon or evening etc. Promise :).

Now,child training........

Can you sit your children down (2yo and up at least),tell them to stay and expect that they will happily listen?If not,I encourage you to spend some time training the children.I have seen so many mothers SO stressed because they can't get their children to sit still and be quiet for any amount of time.

They can't read their Bibles or pray because the children might trash the house out.

They can't have any alone time with their husbands at night because the children won't stay in bed.

It does NOT have to be this way!If you can't tell your children "Time for bed!" and fully expect that they will go to bed and stay in their beds,you have a problem.:)Do not accept it as normal child behaviour because it is not.

I am not going to talk about child training methods here.I will say the following.

1.Mean what you say and say what you mean.
2.Make sure that you surround them with love,praise and smiles.

Training your children will make such a difference in your life! Happier Mammas/Daddies and children!

Are you still greeting your husband with joy? Still keeping your words sweet when he comes in after work?

I got my prayer/scripture reading in today but it was divided and I didn't read as much scripture as I wanted! I will get this habit down pat!

Preparation........

It sure makes us alot more prone to success!

Think of it......

Is it wise to wait until your toddler throws a temper tantrum before you decide what you feel about child training?

What about not cutting any firewood until the first snowstorm hits?

Or waiting until 4:45 to think about what you are going to serve for supper at 5:00?

It just makes SENSE to prepare yourself in the MORNING to deal with the many challenges of the day.

If you are a wife who wants to be an EXCELLENT wife,you have very much  to do and remember.If you are home all day surrounded by little children who need a patient,loving mother to teach them and correct them,you have even MORE to remember! lol

I find that if I am not mentally prepared.If my mind is not where it should be,I can get my priorities mixed up in about 1 minute.Some mornings I am correcting before I even get out of bed......Even while my eyes are still closed! Just this last weekend I was enjoying sleeping in a little and I heard my two little boys in the other room arguing and with my eyes closed I said "Ezekiel? Is that how you talk to your brother? Are you considering him first?" lol It just never stops does it? Not until their little eyes are all closed and they are sweetly sleeping for the night.....(Such a wonderful feeling isn't it? To have all of your babies safe and sound in bed?)

Oh but then you still have that wonderful man to be sweet and patient with...........:):)

I would not change my life for anything in the entire world.It has always been my dream to have a husband who loves me that I can wait on hand and foot and plenty of children to teach. :)

BUT that doesn't mean I don't lose sight of my priorities and act in ways I shouldn't when life gets hectic!

If I PREPARE.............If I read the wonderful scriptures that are full of such wisdom and help.If I pray to the Lord for strength.If I take a moment  to remember what life is all about,what my job is,what is important,what is NOT important.

If I put on my ARMOUR before heading into my day...............

I do MUCH better! I am a much better wife and mother.

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How are you doing? I got my morning quiet time in today but I will admit that this is going to be a challenge for me.It is something I have wanted to make a habit for YEARS now and just never do consistently.I am just tooooo busy.(excuse)

I am still greeting my husband and being sweet with my words when he gets here!

I wanted to share this tiny (but HUGE) bit of wisdom that came to me this morning as I was writing down all of the things I wanted to work on.I looked at my list and thought "How am I going to even remember all that?" Then it hit me that this wonderful scripture covered pretty much everything I wanted to work on........

James 1:19 Wherefore,my beloved brethren,let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak,and slow to wrath.

Wow.........Honestly,so often I am just the OPPOSITE.

Slow to hear,quick to speak and quick to anger.......

Pathetic huh?

Well I am off for now!

Week 2~Start the day right!

                                                             


Week 2!

I have no idea how many are still with me but even if there only a couple of us that's OK! :):)

This weeks challenge is based on the following scriptures......Some of my favorites!

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally,my brethren,be strong in the Lord,and in the power of his might.

Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.

For we wrestle not against flesh and blood,but against principalities,against powers,against the rulers of the darkness of this world,against spiritual wickedness in high places.

Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day,and having done all,to stand.

Stand therefore,having your loins girt about with truth,and having on the breastplate of righteousness;

And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace;

Above all,taking the shield of faith,wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

And take the helmet of salvation,and the sword of the Spirit,which is the word of God:

Praying always with prayer,and supplication in the Spirit,and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints;

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Aren't those scriptures amazing????????

So for week #2 the goal is to start your day out right.What is right? Well,there is no one right way but I have been asking myself this.......If I REALLY believe that the Lord is our help(which I DO) and I REALLY believe that that "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." (which I DO) then WHY do I not go to HIM for help before I head into battle!


I have so many goals,so many things I want to do better in,so many areas that need improvement yet I ignore the best source of strength I have! I head right into "battle" without my armour and wonder why I fall so much!

I am striving for a 1/2 hour of Scripture,prayer,reading godly books,getting my priorities straight in the morning before I start my day.

There is NOTHING that can make me a better wife/mother/christian than God's WORD and HIS strength!

So as we head into week 2 lets make sure we continue.....

1,Greeting our men with JOY and being pleasant for at least 15 minutes.

AND let's work on this new goal of starting our days with the Lord's strength!

Phone tone!

How is everyone doing? I am posting TOMORROWS encouragment tonight because I have the time! :)

So remember,the new HABIT we are learning is to greet our husbands with obvious JOY when they come home at night and be sweet for *atleast* 15 minutes.(Horray to the mamma who left a comment saying that she was tempted to complain but stopped because her 15 min was not up lol and then forgot to complain after her time was up!)

Here is another area to think about though.......

How does your voice sound on the phone?I don't know how many of you talk to your husbands on the phone throughout the day but I know many of us do.Do you sound happy to hear from him?

I always answer my phone with a cheerful "Hello?".I always have.I have always been big on making sure that the person who is calling me does not feel like they are inconvienencing me in any way.Even in the middle of the night.I have talked to too many people on the phone who make it clear by their tone that you are being a big burden to them.I can't stand it.It makes you want to say "Nevermind." click.

I have found though that although I am super polite to strangers/friends/family etc. I  sometimes found myself using kind of a drab/boring/sometimes overwhelmed tone with me dh when saying "Hello?" .

When I realized I decided that it was going to STOP.When he calls me I want him to hear a happy tone.I want him to know that I am thrilled to see HIS number on my caller ID.Always!

Tone makes all the difference in the world.Practice your phone tone! Not only with your dh but with everyone.Does your tone say "I am happy to hear from you! What can I do for you?"

.......all things whatsoever ye would........

that men should do to you,do ye even so to them:for this is the law and the prophets.(Matthew 7:12)

What do you want to see in HIS face when he lays eyes on you?

We could say "Well,he doesn't greet ME with smiles and hugs so why should I do it for him?"

That is anti-scriptural and should never be part of a christian woman's thought process.Sadly though,it is.It is SO easy to get caught up in that mentality.SO easy.We have ALL done it.You can get sucked into it before you even REALIZE it.I can't even count the times that I have done it.I do *much* better now but I still do it.It is something that I think every christian will have to work on every day of their life.I have never yet met a person who is 100% selfless.Maybe they are out there and I just don't see them because they stay far away from selfish people like me! lol

Anyhow..........:)

I personally love it when Scott shows obvious happiness at seeing me.Sure,we are all different.Our husbands are different.We need to KNOW our men.Know what *they* like.My husband might love for me to tackle him when he comes in the door and yours might prefer a smile from accross the room.(I don't know many men like that but hey......) I am pretty sure that no man wants to come home to a wife who pretends that he didn't even come home,and I am also pretty sure that we *all* enjoy being *wanted*.

So today,make sure you aren't swimming in the "poor me" pool.Remember that your job as a CHRISTIAN is to treat others the way you would like to be treated.ALWAYS.

How are you doing at greeting your husband?How are you remembering to keep your words sweet for 15 minutes?

Beautiful girls

These are my beautiful girls.Actually,one of them is my little SISTER.:) My sister is on the left and she is 16.My oldest daughter is on the right (11) and youngest daughter in the middle.My sister is actually taller than my daughter by a couple of inches but thats it! :) They are great friends!! :)

It makes me feel REALLY nervous ALOT of the time that I have the power to be such an influence and example to these girls.It is a scary and wonderful thought.I am always influencing........a.l.l the time.Even when I don't want to! Those are the scary times! The way they view marriage,mothering,children..........Even things like pregnancy,childbirth,herbs and breastfeeding........Then there are things like attitudes,thankfulness and joy.I SO want to be a godly example to them.

My sister has been staying with me for a long visit.When I think of the times that I have been impatient or frustrated with the children.....When I get overwhelmed with how much I have to do.......I cringe that I am not being example to her.She is at such an important time in her life.

I HATE that my daughters don't see a mother who never gets irritated,is always encouraging,never gets short with them and is always thankful and content.I want to ONLY influence them in a godly direction.

I HATE that I can't be the perfect mother!

On the other hand.....I KNOW that the Lord knew I would be imperfect when he gave me these children.My own parents were imperfect but guess what? Looking back,I see what there heart was.I KNOW that they wanted me to have the best.They wanted me to be godly.They tried to make the best decisions they could for what they knew.It doesn't even PHASE me when I think about the fact that my Mom could lose her temper pretty quickly or that she didn't have tea parties with me every weekend.I couldn't love her more! She did her best and so did my Dad.I can see how HARD it can be to be PARENT.I am 33 and my siblings are 27,18 and 16.Every single one of us love Mom and Dad SO much.YES! Inspite of their faults......I have been critical of how my Mom and Dad raised my younger siblings.(They were 12,2 and 5mo when I married) Guess what? The other day I was going to paint my girls fingernails for the first time.I asked my sister if she wanted hers painted and she said "no". I found out a few days later that she wanted to call her Mom and Dad and ask if it was ok first.Can you believe that? A 16 year old girl that wouldn't even paint her nails at her SISTERS house......600 miles away from her Mom and Dad......

When she talks to them on the phone she grins from ear to ear.She loves them SO much! Just like I do.....Like ALL of my siblings do.

I am starting to not beat myself up so much.Don't get me wrong,I will not EVER quite trying to be my best for the Lord and my husband and children.It is my sincere desire to be the best influence for the Lord that I can be.......

BUT:

I am pretty sure that because we are not hypocrites,we have an excellent marriage,we are dedicated to being the best parents we can be to our children,they love us and love to be with us more than anyone else,they hear us pray to the Lord to help us be all we should be for them and to forgive us when we fail,we are a HAPPY family that strives to live for the Lord.

I bet someday that with all the love they are receiving from us that they will be able to forgive our faults!

That is such a WONDERFUL feeling!!

Thank you Lord for forgiving children!

How do we love?

Love for husbands,love for children,love for friends,love for family,and most importantly,love for the LORD.

In our culture love is all about *emotion*.It is how we feel in our hearts.Not what we DO.In scripture it is the opposite.

Now this is a topic that could go on forever and I will try not to do that :), but I wanted to write about it a little because a good friend and I were talking about it and I thought it was a great topic.

The most emotional people that I have ever seen concerning their "love" for the Lord are not even christian.They are the ones who live exactly like the world but they love to talk about how much they love the Lord. They will even cry.

I know that this isn't *always* so.It is just what I have seen.It is almost like they are trying to convince me that they love the Lord because they know their lives don't say so.

I have noticed the same thing from parents who don't take care of their children.You aren't into a conversation for 2 minutes and they are saying things like "I just love my kids so much.I would die for my kids." ????

The most loving parents I know rarely say such things.Of course they feel those things but for some reason they don't feel the need to go around telling everyone.

The most sincere christians I know aren't out telling everyone how much they "love God".They are to busy living for him and serving him that they don't need to go around telling everyone how much they love Him.Not that they wouldn't *ever* say that they love God of course but I think you get what I am trying to say? We see alot of "emotional" love going on but less and less REAL love.It is easy to feel an emotion about someone but it takes effort to REALLY love someone.

Luke 10 :27 And he answering said,Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,and with all thy soul,and with all thy strength,and with all thy mind;and thy neighbor as thyself.

1 Corinthians 16:22 If any man love not the Lord Jesus Christ,let him be Anathema Maranatha.

 2 John 6 And this is love,that we walk after his commandments.this is the commandment,That,as ye have heard from the beginning,ye should walk in it.

1 John 5:3 For this is the love of God,that we keep his commandments:and his commandments are not grevious.

1 John 3:18,19 My little children,let us not love in word,neither in tongue;but in deed and in truth.

And hereby we know that we are of the truth,and shall assure our hearts before him.

John 15:10 If ye keep my commandments,ye shall abide in my love;even as I have kept my Father's commandments,and abide in his love.

John 14:21 He that hath my commandments,and keepeth them,he it is that loveth me:and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father,and I will love him,and will manistfy myself to him.

The Lord says here that we are to love him with ALL of our hearts.What does this mean? Does this mean that we should feel a strong emotion towards him? No,He says "He that hath my commandments,and keepeth the,he it is that loveth me." "For this is the love of God.....That we keep his commandments...." What if someone claims to love God but doesn't keep his commandments?

1 John 2:4 He that saith I know him,and keepeth not his commandments,is a liar,and the truth is not in him. 

It is pretty clear that scripturally,to love God is to LIVE for him.It matters little how we FEEL if  we aren't living those feelings.How can we tell another christian? There are millions of people who claim to being christian......

Matthew 7:20 Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

James 2 talks about true faith......

vs 18-Yea,a man may say,Thou hast faith and I have works:shew me thy faith without thy works,and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

19-Thou believest that there is one God;thou doest well:the devils also believe,and tremble.

26-For as the body without the spirit is dead,so faith without works is dead also. 

So I think it is pretty clear that to love God means that we LIVE for him.True love is an ACTION.Now I am am NOT saying that our works GET us to heaven! What we DO has nothing to DO with where we are in eternity.It is only by the wonderful grace and mercy of God that a christian is saved.We live for him because we love him.We love and believe his WORD and WANT to live by it *because* we love him and we are so thankful for gift he has given us.I also don't mean to imply that we will KNOW and KEEP all of his commandments.As we grow we learn and as we learn we grow.When we die we will *still* not know everything  but a christian strives with all of their heart to live what they KNOW.


A few more examples.....Titus 2 tells the older women to teach the younger how to love their husbands,love their children and much more but think about it..........Love their husbands? Love their children? Can that possibly be an emotional love? When we hold that baby for the first time do we feel that overpowering love for it because someone taught us how to feel it? That strong emotional love that we feel for our men.....Did our mothers tell us before we married how to FEEL love?No.......but the older women CAN teach the younger women how to love their husbands and children in ACTION.

 Scripture says that we HATE our children if we don't train them.


It really bothers me to hear SO OFTEN..... "It doesn't matter what we do.....the Lord looks on the heart." It is a lie.What we DO reveals the state of our heart.What we do does not save us but it DOES matter because it SHOWS what is IN our hearts!

Anyhow,I have not updated my blog forever due to morning sickness and being so TIRED! lol I am getting more sleep now though and feeling more energetic! I am SO thankful for this precious new baby! I hope everyone is doing wonderful!

I did not mean to make the bottom of this post white lol.I don't have time to fix it now though so it stays! :)





 

"For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.

Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;

Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.


Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife:but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 22:24,25  Make no friendship with an angry man;and with a furious man thou shalt not go.
Lest thou learn his ways,and get a snare to thy soul.

Proverbs 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly:and a man of wicked devices is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to  wrath is of great understanding:but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

James 1:19,20 Wherefore,my beloved brethren,let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak,slow to wrath:

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Do you ever get mad at your husband? I am pretty sure that everyone of us will say "Yes".Some of us have more of a problem than others but I think we can all relate.

This post is not only written by me.I had some wonderful ladies (MOMYS) give me some wonderful,godly advice when I was looking for ways to  help me STOP being angry at my husband..I have a wonderful marriage,an absolutely fantastic husband.........but I find myself getting upset  easily at petty things and I don't like it.

Below is a summary of the wonderful conversation that we had.Alot of things are re-written to save space and some things are exact words.I tried to summarize everything to make it short and powerful.I plan on printing or writing it all out to put in the front of a little book I am making.The book will be for me to write down all of the wonderful things that my husband does for me.Those things are so easily forgotten.Why is it that we humans love to concentrate on the negative?

Anyhow........

How do you keep from getting angry with your husband?

1.The very first thing we must remember is that God has forgiven us and shows us IMMENSE mercy and grace every day. And the way we approach others must flow out of that.When Our Father has forgiven so much already in us...who are we to get angry and stew?


Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,but that which is good to the use of edifying,that it may minister grace unto the hearers.



And grieve not the holy Spirit of God,whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.


Let all bitterness,and wrath,and anger,and clamour,and evil speaking,be put away from you,with all malice.

And be ye kind to one another,tenderhearted,forgiving one another,even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;


And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:


Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.


Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;


Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.

Our only hope is in the mercy of God. This isn't pie in the sky--it's very practical. In his mercy He provided means whereby He gives us His grace. If we neglect those means, we soon see the effects show up in our life.


One of those means is His living and powerful Word that slices deeply into us and changes us. Meditate on His Word so that it is there when He needs to use it. Don't go into a battle un-armed.(Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.")

1 Peter 2:18-23 Servants,be subject to your masters with all fear;not only to the good and gentle,but also to the froward.

For this is thankworthy,if a man for conscience toward God endure grief,suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it,if,when ye be buffeted for your faults,ye shall take it patiently?but if,when ye do well,and suffer for it,ye take it patiently,this is acceptable with God.

For even hereunto were ye called:because Christ also suffered for us,leaving us an example,that ye should follow His steps:

Who did no sin.neither was guile found in his mouth:

Who,when he was reviled,reviled not again;when he suffered,he threatened not....................

We must go back to Him for grace over and over and over and over. WE NEED His help SO much! We are SO hopeless without Him!

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing,that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

 We can't use human logic and human gumption to fix the surface level issue.We might get self-control over outer displays of anger, but it could easily turn into a point of spiritual pride--"See my dh sinning and I am so godly that *I* am rising above that."

 We MUST allow God to deal with that root inside.

When we struggle to extend grace toward others.....We need to remember that God  has forgiven ALL of our sins, even when we did NOT deserve it. ".......if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye."

2.Concentrate on yourself.Remember that you are two individuals in one marriage. YOU are responsible for YOU 100% of the time. If he does something or says something, you are still responsible for how YOU react or what comes out of YOUR mouth.

If you are angry at your dh,it is *YOUR* problem,not his.Do not blame your anger on him saying...."Well,if we wouldn't do xyz I would not be mad.He *causes* me to act like this because of his selfishness." etc.



Remember that you CAN NOT change your husband.Only the Lord can do that.He will grow his people as he sees fit.Make sure you are being a godly help and encouragment to those around you,including your husband.*Maybe* you are 99% right but you will never be 100%  right.You will *always* have plenty of things to work on in your own spiritual life.There is also a very good chance that you are not right, but your husband is.Remember.......

You were made to be your husbands helper,not the other way around. (Gen 2:18)

You are to submit to your husband "As unto the Lord......." Ephesians 5:22 (Yes,our husbands are told to love us like Christ loved the church but we can't *demand* that of them.They will be accountable for their *own* actions just like we will ours.)

Our husbands will not always "deserve" our respect but we do it anyway because it is required by us of the LORD.(Of course,we are never to do anything against the Lord in the name of submission but that is an entirely different topic.) Do you always deserve to be loved like Christ loved the church?

The fruit of the Spirit is love,joy,peace,longsuffering,gentleness,goodness,faith,meeknes,temperness......(Gal 5:22,23)

3.Don't have unrealistic expectations.Accept the fact that you are married to an imperfect man and you always will be.He is married to an imperfect wife and always will be.You knew this when you married.

Ask yourself  how important the matter really is.Anger can make you feel physically and spiritually sick.Most of the time we should choose to just forgive, take our thoughts captive, make them obedient to Christ and move on....and quickly. It isn't worth the pattern of anger, bitterness, etc. We can't allow the enemy a foothold in ou heart or in our marriages.


If it is truly a matter of importance,take it quickly to the Father and ask how to handle it.Do not let anger lead to bitterness and take root.

4.Don't allow yourself to believe lies.

Do you ever find yourself thinking things like "He doesn't care about what I want.He doesn't love me,if he did,he wouldn't do this......I would *never* do something like that to him because I love him."

Remember his heart.Just because he forgets not to wear his muddy shoes in the house does not mean that he doesn't care about you or that he is selfish and deep down,you know that.The death bed scene always comes to my head......If your dh were dying and he told you "Sweetheart,I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you and wasn't the perfect husband for you.I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for forgetting my laundry laying around,for all the times I came home from work to late and for wearing my muddy shoes in the house.I always loved you and tried my best.I'm sorry if I made decisions that you didn't agree with,I was just trying to guide our home in the way I thought was godly."

Sound ridiculous? Thats because it is!If such a scene ever happened though,what would you say to your dh? I know what you would say.The same thing I would say.I know how you would feel. Let's stop looking into things farther than we should.Let's stop worrying so much about the unimportant,ridiculous things.This could be the last day you have with your dh.Life is precious...don't allow your anger to steal a moment of joy away from you. When anger *does* happen, don't sin.(Eph 4:26) Choose the joyful, forgiving path. The view is beautiful on that path.


5. Be thankful.Dwell on the many, wonderful things about your husband.

Philippians 4:8 Finally,brethren,whatsoever things are true,whatsoever things are honest,whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure,whatsoever things are lovely,whatsoever things are of good report;if there be any virtue,and if there be any praise,think on these things.

Think of all the wonderful things your man IS.Write them all down,tell him how much you appreciate them,speak of them to your children.Be THANKFUL.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness;and be content with such things as ye have:for he hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee.


6. Pray together.

My husband and I started this months ago and this has been amazing.When I hear him pray for wisdom and strength to guide his family for the Lord and cherish me,as his wife,like he should.......I am so much more forgiving because it reminds me of the heart of gold that he has.It helps me to NOT believe the lies when they try to creep in.

7. Refrain from using words like "Never" and "Always" when you are referring to your husbands behaviour.

They provoke wrath.:)

8. Distract yourself. When you find you are dwelling on something negative about your dh,get your mind on something else.

Sing,count your blessings,get busy doing something to keep your mind on something GOOD rather than dwelling on something you shouldn't be dwelling on.

9. Ask the Lord to help you re-kindle the passion you had when you first fell in love.

Make sure you are making time for your marriage.Let you husband KNOW that you are still passionate about him.Make sure that the children,laundry or anything else is NOT coming first over your dh.Men can be prone to being easily irritable and act in unloving ways towards us when they are not getting their needs met.Lets make sure we are being everything they need in a wife,to the best of our capability.Keep the flame burning.When you are feeling "in love" you can overlook so many faults.

10. LAUGH.

Use the tool of laughter.When he does something that is prone to make you angry or irritated,just laugh about how funny it really is. How is it that a grown man cannot learn how to put his socks in the hamper? LOL That is just ridiculous! LOL Choose to not take it personally.Don't choose to believe that he does it because he is selfish. It is likely just something thoughtless he does, and it'll likely never change.Just pick them up and put them away and praise God you have a husband who is leaving socks around for you to pick up. (he is alive and present with your family).

Well done thou good and faithful servant.....

The other day my husband pulled me aside and said to me "Have I ever told you how GOOD you are with our children?" I told him that he had, but he continued to tell me *just* how good of a job I was doing training our children and how much he appreciated it.

I am sure you all can understand how that made my day.I mean,it MADE MY DAY! REALLY! My husband is pleased with me.He thinks I am doing a good job mothering his children.He is HAPPY with me! He says that I do a good job training the children!

It made all of the sacrifice and hard work seem like NOTHING.It just didn't matter.My husband was happy with me and thought I was doing a good job.Since there is nothing (next to pleasing the Lord) that I strive to do more in this life than please my husband,those words were precious to me.

This morning it hit me that it was sort of similiar to the words that I hope to hear someday from the LORD.

"Well done, thou good and faithful servant......" (Matt 25:21,23)

I have always felt that those are the ultimate words of all time.To hear those words someday is my entire reason that I do everything that I do.NOTHING else matters, or is important in the end.I think of all the trials I may go through in this life and they seem like NOTHING.Not when I think of the reward in the end.I don't even mean the reward of heaven.Just to have pleased the Lord with my life.For him to be pleased with me and think that I did a good job! "Well done...."

When I imagine hearing those words in the end it makes my sometimes overwhelming job as a wife and mother seem EASY.It makes me want to do my job 100% .Give it my ALL.I don't care how hard it is!

I want to be pleasing to him.Nothing else matters!

Now that is motivation.

Do you make others feel like a burden?

Philippians 2:3-5

"Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things,but every man also on the things of others.

Let this mind be in you,which was also in Christ Jesus:"

I think these verses are HUGE for Christians and just society period.This *is* Christianity, and even though only Christians *really* understand the depth of it, think how society would be if *everyone* considered themselves first.That *is* what is happening in the world but thankfully,at this point,there are still many,many,many loving,caring,good hearted NON christians.They are getting fewer and fewer though.Especially in the younger generations!

The attitude taught in the above verses is one that my dh and I are really,really,passionate about instilling into our children.Think of all the areas it applies to.If you are considering *others* above yourself you will :

Show up to work on time and do a good job.
Be thankful for whatever food you are served.
Be thankful PERIOD.
Forgive.
Speak kindly.
Be honest.
Not be judgmental.

The list goes on and on.......As mothers,we have so many things we want to instill in our children.If we can instill the attitude of dying to self we have instilled one of the most important things.This will effect every part of their adult lives from their career to marriage.A selfish person is a terrible thing.

The area of selfLESSness that I wanted to talk about in this post is making others feel like a burden.Do you? It is so easy.I have always been big on doing favors for others without letting them know how they are inconveniencing me.(If they are)If I ask for help and I can sense that the person isn't *truly* happy to help,but is complaining inwardly,I would rather not have the help.No one wants to feel like a burden.It is a miserable feeling! When my dh asks me "Can you do me a favor?" I always say "Sure!". I feel like if I say "What?" first that I am saying "Well,let me know what it is first and I will decide if I feel like doing it." I like to let him know that I am willing and happy to help him with *whatever* he needs help with.It is not conditional.I know he will not ask anything unreasonable of me and if for some reason ,what he asks is impossible for me to do because of circumstance, I can tell him that and he will understand.He knew that I had a willing heart though.Now we may not be able to reply with a "Sure!" to just anybody's request of a favor because some people *are* unreasonable and there are also some things that we just don't have the time to do.I think we can always reply with a happy "I would surely love to help you if it is possible for me.....What do you need?"If we *do* decide to help someone,it should be done without sighs and complaining.It should be done joyfully.Not that you have to necessarily love what they are asking you to do,but love that you have the opportunity to help.Also remember that Christians should be doing everything "as unto CHRIST".

Another thing I have been thinking about recently.......The same thing but a step further.When someone comes to your house or calls to ask you a favor and you say "Sure!" do you then hang up the phone/shut the door and let out a big sigh in front of your children and begin to complain about it? I am really feeling convicted about that lately and feeling like it is hypocrisy.It does not seem right for my children to see me smile happily at my neighbor and tell him "Sure we can help!" and then as soon as they are out of sight they see my smile vanish and the complaints start.Not only that but how would you feel if the tables were turned?YOU needed help and your neighbor happily agreed.How would you feel if you knew that your happy,willing to help neighbor was griping and complaining behind your back? We are to treat others the way WE would like to be treated.

Do our husbands feel that we are always happy to serve them?Do they feel they could ask a favor and that we are always glad to help if possible?
Do our children feel that they are a joy to us?Do we sigh and complain about our jobs and make them feel like they are burdening us?

I am really going to be concentrating on this and making sure that I am *truly* Christlike in this area.I have much work to do.*Especially* with my children.I need to do my job with joy and thankfulness.If Christ were here (and HE IS!) I wouldn't be giving impatient sighs because I have to correct a child yet *again*.I desired children so much and he has granted me the desires of my heart! I should be THANKFUL that I have them to train! Thankful that I have them to correct! A burden is something that we would like to be FREE of! Lord please keep me from portraying that attitude that my children are a burden!

Are you leading yourself into temptation?

For years I have worked at the outward signs of anger.Raising my voice,using bad tones,having a mad look on my face etc. etc. but I have recently realized that I have been going about it the wrong way.

What is the Lord's answer to overcoming temptation? All through scripture we see the same admonition.Avoid it,seperate yourselves,refrain from it,

1 Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived:evil communications corrupt good manners.

Proverbs 4:14,15 Enter not into the path of the wicked,and go not in the way of evil men.

Avoid it,pass not by it,turn from it,and pass away.

Proverbs 1:10,15 My son,if sinners entice thee,consent thou not....................(15) My son,walk not thou in the way with them;refrain thy foot from their path.

Proverbs 6:27 Can a man take fire into his bosom,and his clothes not be burned?

Luke 11:4 .........And lead us not into temptation,but deliver us from evil.

When we become a christian that doesn't mean that we are above temptation.The Lord tells us to avoid it if at all possible.He doesn't say to go around it and then pray real hard that you don't fall.He says to flee from it if at all possible! Yes,we should pray for strength to be overcomers in this world, but we also need to follow the directions that he already gave us!Yes,if we are faced with temptations,we should not give into them.We CAN overcome them with God's help but the FIRST step is to make sure that we are following HIS commandments and refraining as much as possible.

So that means that a struggling alcoholic should not have a 12 pack in his refrigerator.He should not go to a bar and watch everyone drink and he should not be hanging around other alcoholics.He can't do all of these things willingly and expect to overcome the temptation.The Lord's ways are best and if  he tells us that "evil communications corrupt good manners" who are we to say "Oh,I won't be influenced or tempted!" ?????

So how does this apply to anger?

I was thinking......By allowing myself to BE angry but trying to control the outward signs of anger,I am,in a sense..................the alcoholic trying not to drink the beer sitting in front of him.I need to just follow the scripture:


Proverbs 16:32
He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

I need to eliminate the anger and the outward signs of anger will vanish! It is foolish to allow the anger to live with me and try not to be influenced by it's powers.I need to kick it out!

I have already seen it work in one area of my life and so I am really convinced.I used to get frustrated/mad at my dh over little things and often.Little STUPID things.I was quick to be angry at him.I was quick to get over it too and I always felt so bad!

Well,some dear MOMYS made a post challenging everyone to list 25 things that they love about their husbands.I had no troubles making my list and after I was done I thought...."How could I ever get mad at this man??????????/" I decided to just STOP it! I have always thought he was WONDERFUL and the best thing that has ever happened to me in this life but making that list just really opened my eyes even wider.I only have so much time with this godly man and I am sure not going to spend it feeling anger at him over silly things!Neither of us are perfect!

Well it has been wonderful and it works! Now I am working on eliminating my anger with my children! It is to easy to get frustrated when you have so many children to train! I get frustrated to quickly with them and it needs to stop.They are so precious and they deserve a patient mother.No,I am not angry all the time.....I am usually very happy......I do struggle with frustration though,sometimes every day.I am praying that I can get over this and I know I will with HIS help.

Today's blesings

I have been thinking about how it is so easy to overlook today's blessings.How many times do we dwell on how much we wish tomorrow's blessings were here and completely let today's blessings go by ignored? If it is raining today we say "I wish this rain would stop so we could go outside." If it is to hot and dry we say "Boy we sure need some rain." If it is winter we are wishing it is summer and then when summer gets here we complain about the heat.We desire children and then get frustrated because we have so much to do taking care of them.We are soooooooooo unthankful!

Collossians 4:15 And let the peace of God rule in your hearts,to the which also ye are called in one body;and be ye thankful.

I am going to be thankful TODAY that TODAY I have:

Children to clean up after,to train and to hang on me all day because they love me!
Diapers to change because I have a precious baby.
Dishes to wash because we have food to eat.
Produce to can because I am healthy enough to plant and care for a garden.
Lots of food to cook because I have many hungry people to feed.
A night to plan for my sweet dh and I tonight because he is ALIVE and here with me!
Weight to lose because of a wonderful marriage and lots of pregnancies :)
A million things to think about,plan and get done because I am healthy enough to do them!
SO many flies to kill because we ar blessed enough to live in the country and have animals to attract the flies!
Rotten squash to get out of my basement cause I have a bunch of new fresh squash coming on to replace it!
Fruit flies to kill because well........atleast I don't have something tragic going on in my life that would make fruit flies seem minor! :):)

Most importantly,I have the Lord's wonderful Truth to dwell on all day and guide me as I try to complete all of my tasks.

It is Friday! I can't wait for my dh to get home! We celebrate our 14th anniversary on the 20th this month and He is still my very best friend and we are more in love than ever.

I am so thankful today and I want to stay feeling this way ALL day and not let the stresses of my day drag me down!

Enjoy TODAY'S blessings!!!!!!!!!!

Just because it isn't a struggle for you.....

does not mean that it isn't a struggle for the next person! I have been thinking alot on this lately.

Two different women get married to two different men.They are both sweet,good hearted,christian women BUT

The first woman has been trained her entire life to be a keeper of the home.She is at total ease in the kitchen,she has been taught how to manage a house,to garden,preserve food,sew,knit,train children,take care of her husband,she breezes right through everything when she gets married because she is confident and capable.She has a thankful,positive attitude which helps her tremendously with the stress of being a wife/mother.She knows how to train children and does it naturally.She  lives her life for the Lord and strives to please him every day but she has her struggles too.She just keeps trying.She loves Him with all of her heart.

The second woman didn't have the privelege of being trained for marriage/motherhood.She can't cook,has no idea how to keep laundry/dishes/cleaning caught up,gardening is totally out as she can't even get a meal on the table, she has no clue how to do anything with a needle and even if she could,she has no idea how she would even have TIME.She is stressed out and finds it extremely hard to stay positive.Her children don't obey because she has no idea how to train them and also finds it totaly overwhelming to even think about training them along with keeping everything else up.She lives her life for the Lord and tries to please him every day but she struggles desperately.She just keeps trying.She loves him with all of her heart.

BOTH women have the same heart but their own definition of "easy" is so different because of their upbringing.They are no different in God's eyes because he looks at the heart.How sad if the first woman should look at the second and say "Whats the matter with HER? She can't even cook a good meal for her family and look at how messy her house is and how bratty her children are!" She can't be trying, I mean how hard is it to do those simple things?

Both women struggle but at totally different levels.It is crazy how human tendency is that when we learn something, and it becomes easy for us,we want to look back at those who haven't gotten there yet and say "Whats the matter with you? This is easy!" It's a TERRIBLE attitude,totally ungodly.I have been guilty of it myself.If I have learned anything,become good at anything,I should be thankful to GOD.I should always remember how hard it was before I became good at it and should be patient,helpful and encouraging to those who haven't learned it yet.Another thing to remember is that we learn at different speeds.You can't say that once you have been a christian for 1 year, you should know this and this and this.By 5 years you should know this and this and this etc.The Lord teaches everyone differently.There most certainly should be, and will be, GROWTH in Christ if a person truly *is* a christian but that growth looks different for different christians sometimes.

I am so thankful that the Lord loved me even when I was a brand new christian knowing very little.He doesn't love me anymore now that I know more.He loves the new,ignorant christian as much as he loves the 100 year old christian who is full of HIS wisdom.

Do I ? How worthless of me,who has been given this love to turn around and feel less love for the struggling,ignorant christian than the strong,wise christian!

It is so easy to think "Well thats just common sense!" or "There is no excuse for that,anyone should know that!"

Us who are blessed to have godly training,let us not be impatient and condemning to those who want to learn and change but struggle so much because they have such a long hard hill to climb! If you start climbing the hill 3/4 of the way up you aren't going to be near as tired when you get to the top as the person who starts from the bottom!