"For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God."

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:

Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.

Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;

Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.


Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife:but he that is slow to anger appeaseth strife.

Proverbs 16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty;and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.

Proverbs 22:24,25  Make no friendship with an angry man;and with a furious man thou shalt not go.
Lest thou learn his ways,and get a snare to thy soul.

Proverbs 14:17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly:and a man of wicked devices is hated.

Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to  wrath is of great understanding:but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly.

James 1:19,20 Wherefore,my beloved brethren,let every man be swift to hear,slow to speak,slow to wrath:

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.

Do you ever get mad at your husband? I am pretty sure that everyone of us will say "Yes".Some of us have more of a problem than others but I think we can all relate.

This post is not only written by me.I had some wonderful ladies (MOMYS) give me some wonderful,godly advice when I was looking for ways to  help me STOP being angry at my husband..I have a wonderful marriage,an absolutely fantastic husband.........but I find myself getting upset  easily at petty things and I don't like it.

Below is a summary of the wonderful conversation that we had.Alot of things are re-written to save space and some things are exact words.I tried to summarize everything to make it short and powerful.I plan on printing or writing it all out to put in the front of a little book I am making.The book will be for me to write down all of the wonderful things that my husband does for me.Those things are so easily forgotten.Why is it that we humans love to concentrate on the negative?

Anyhow........

How do you keep from getting angry with your husband?

1.The very first thing we must remember is that God has forgiven us and shows us IMMENSE mercy and grace every day. And the way we approach others must flow out of that.When Our Father has forgiven so much already in us...who are we to get angry and stew?


Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth,but that which is good to the use of edifying,that it may minister grace unto the hearers.



And grieve not the holy Spirit of God,whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.


Let all bitterness,and wrath,and anger,and clamour,and evil speaking,be put away from you,with all malice.

And be ye kind to one another,tenderhearted,forgiving one another,even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Colossians 3:8 But now ye also,put off all these;anger,wrath,malice,blasphemy,filthy communication out of your mouth.

Lie not one to another,seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;


And have put on the new man,which is renewed in knowledge after the image of him that created him:


Where there is neither Greek,nor Jew,circumcision nor uncicrumcision,Barbarian,Scythian,bond nor free:but Christ is all,and in all.


Put on therefore as the elect of God,holy and beloved,bowels of mercies,kindness,humbleness of mind,meekness,longsuffering;


Forbearing one another,and forgiving one another,if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye.

Our only hope is in the mercy of God. This isn't pie in the sky--it's very practical. In his mercy He provided means whereby He gives us His grace. If we neglect those means, we soon see the effects show up in our life.


One of those means is His living and powerful Word that slices deeply into us and changes us. Meditate on His Word so that it is there when He needs to use it. Don't go into a battle un-armed.(Ephesians 6:11 "Put on the whole armour of God,that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.")

1 Peter 2:18-23 Servants,be subject to your masters with all fear;not only to the good and gentle,but also to the froward.

For this is thankworthy,if a man for conscience toward God endure grief,suffering wrongfully.

For what glory is it,if,when ye be buffeted for your faults,ye shall take it patiently?but if,when ye do well,and suffer for it,ye take it patiently,this is acceptable with God.

For even hereunto were ye called:because Christ also suffered for us,leaving us an example,that ye should follow His steps:

Who did no sin.neither was guile found in his mouth:

Who,when he was reviled,reviled not again;when he suffered,he threatened not....................

We must go back to Him for grace over and over and over and over. WE NEED His help SO much! We are SO hopeless without Him!

Philippians 1:6 Being confident of this very thing,that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Philippians 2:13 For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.

 We can't use human logic and human gumption to fix the surface level issue.We might get self-control over outer displays of anger, but it could easily turn into a point of spiritual pride--"See my dh sinning and I am so godly that *I* am rising above that."

 We MUST allow God to deal with that root inside.

When we struggle to extend grace toward others.....We need to remember that God  has forgiven ALL of our sins, even when we did NOT deserve it. ".......if any man have a quarrel against any:even as Christ forgave you,so also do ye."

2.Concentrate on yourself.Remember that you are two individuals in one marriage. YOU are responsible for YOU 100% of the time. If he does something or says something, you are still responsible for how YOU react or what comes out of YOUR mouth.

If you are angry at your dh,it is *YOUR* problem,not his.Do not blame your anger on him saying...."Well,if we wouldn't do xyz I would not be mad.He *causes* me to act like this because of his selfishness." etc.



Remember that you CAN NOT change your husband.Only the Lord can do that.He will grow his people as he sees fit.Make sure you are being a godly help and encouragment to those around you,including your husband.*Maybe* you are 99% right but you will never be 100%  right.You will *always* have plenty of things to work on in your own spiritual life.There is also a very good chance that you are not right, but your husband is.Remember.......

You were made to be your husbands helper,not the other way around. (Gen 2:18)

You are to submit to your husband "As unto the Lord......." Ephesians 5:22 (Yes,our husbands are told to love us like Christ loved the church but we can't *demand* that of them.They will be accountable for their *own* actions just like we will ours.)

Our husbands will not always "deserve" our respect but we do it anyway because it is required by us of the LORD.(Of course,we are never to do anything against the Lord in the name of submission but that is an entirely different topic.) Do you always deserve to be loved like Christ loved the church?

The fruit of the Spirit is love,joy,peace,longsuffering,gentleness,goodness,faith,meeknes,temperness......(Gal 5:22,23)

3.Don't have unrealistic expectations.Accept the fact that you are married to an imperfect man and you always will be.He is married to an imperfect wife and always will be.You knew this when you married.

Ask yourself  how important the matter really is.Anger can make you feel physically and spiritually sick.Most of the time we should choose to just forgive, take our thoughts captive, make them obedient to Christ and move on....and quickly. It isn't worth the pattern of anger, bitterness, etc. We can't allow the enemy a foothold in ou heart or in our marriages.


If it is truly a matter of importance,take it quickly to the Father and ask how to handle it.Do not let anger lead to bitterness and take root.

4.Don't allow yourself to believe lies.

Do you ever find yourself thinking things like "He doesn't care about what I want.He doesn't love me,if he did,he wouldn't do this......I would *never* do something like that to him because I love him."

Remember his heart.Just because he forgets not to wear his muddy shoes in the house does not mean that he doesn't care about you or that he is selfish and deep down,you know that.The death bed scene always comes to my head......If your dh were dying and he told you "Sweetheart,I'm sorry for all the times I hurt you and wasn't the perfect husband for you.I hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me for forgetting my laundry laying around,for all the times I came home from work to late and for wearing my muddy shoes in the house.I always loved you and tried my best.I'm sorry if I made decisions that you didn't agree with,I was just trying to guide our home in the way I thought was godly."

Sound ridiculous? Thats because it is!If such a scene ever happened though,what would you say to your dh? I know what you would say.The same thing I would say.I know how you would feel. Let's stop looking into things farther than we should.Let's stop worrying so much about the unimportant,ridiculous things.This could be the last day you have with your dh.Life is precious...don't allow your anger to steal a moment of joy away from you. When anger *does* happen, don't sin.(Eph 4:26) Choose the joyful, forgiving path. The view is beautiful on that path.


5. Be thankful.Dwell on the many, wonderful things about your husband.

Philippians 4:8 Finally,brethren,whatsoever things are true,whatsoever things are honest,whatsoever things are just,whatsoever things are pure,whatsoever things are lovely,whatsoever things are of good report;if there be any virtue,and if there be any praise,think on these things.

Think of all the wonderful things your man IS.Write them all down,tell him how much you appreciate them,speak of them to your children.Be THANKFUL.

Hebrews 13:5 Let your conversation be without covetousness;and be content with such things as ye have:for he hath said,I will never leave thee,nor forsake thee.


6. Pray together.

My husband and I started this months ago and this has been amazing.When I hear him pray for wisdom and strength to guide his family for the Lord and cherish me,as his wife,like he should.......I am so much more forgiving because it reminds me of the heart of gold that he has.It helps me to NOT believe the lies when they try to creep in.

7. Refrain from using words like "Never" and "Always" when you are referring to your husbands behaviour.

They provoke wrath.:)

8. Distract yourself. When you find you are dwelling on something negative about your dh,get your mind on something else.

Sing,count your blessings,get busy doing something to keep your mind on something GOOD rather than dwelling on something you shouldn't be dwelling on.

9. Ask the Lord to help you re-kindle the passion you had when you first fell in love.

Make sure you are making time for your marriage.Let you husband KNOW that you are still passionate about him.Make sure that the children,laundry or anything else is NOT coming first over your dh.Men can be prone to being easily irritable and act in unloving ways towards us when they are not getting their needs met.Lets make sure we are being everything they need in a wife,to the best of our capability.Keep the flame burning.When you are feeling "in love" you can overlook so many faults.

10. LAUGH.

Use the tool of laughter.When he does something that is prone to make you angry or irritated,just laugh about how funny it really is. How is it that a grown man cannot learn how to put his socks in the hamper? LOL That is just ridiculous! LOL Choose to not take it personally.Don't choose to believe that he does it because he is selfish. It is likely just something thoughtless he does, and it'll likely never change.Just pick them up and put them away and praise God you have a husband who is leaving socks around for you to pick up. (he is alive and present with your family).